The Kindler's Burden
by emeralddusk
Summary: Taking lead in her war against the Capitol, Katniss Everdeen struggles to maintain her morals and stability as she begins to question her actions, cause, allies, role, and humanity. Canon with "The Hunger Games Prologue-The Seam."
1. First Light

**The Hunger Games**

The Kindler's Burden

**Chapter One: First Light**

Part One: The Flames

_" We brand ourselves martyrs of an unworthy cause. Stagger through the flames, snares, and roughs, towards an unreachable precipice of derelict hopes. Yet, it is the worthiest one we know."_

_ The scorches of rebellion. First sight._

_ The embers I've planted have blossomed. The sparks I've set have grown into flames, but my strides backfired. District 12 lies in ash, the first lights of the new horizon went awry, and now my home, and so many other's, rest in a midden valley._

_ I was given a full debriefing on how it happened. The bombers were sent out the night of the interviews with Caesar, the night Peeta slandered the Games with false news of my condition, the night I danced in Snow's wedding dress as it burned to ashen colors of the Mockingjay, and the night we linked hands with the other victors, uniting the Districts of Panem for the first time in seventy-five years. Gale spotted the bombers less than an hour before their arrival, and assembled my mother, Prim, his family, and as many others as he could, and lead them out of District 12. Their timing was so close they were caught in the smoke of the scourge. They wandered in the forest, aimlessly for two days before they were sighted, welcomed, and transported to District 13. Shortly after his induction, Gale was selected to board a hovercraft bound for the Capitol, stopping only to retrieve Haymitch and Plutarch, waiting in Northern District 3. Their reclaimance mission was intercepted by the other hovercraft, and our savings became based on priority. I was collected first, then Beetee, then Finnick, and the others were taken by the Capitol. They left in possession of Johanna, Peeta, and Enobaria, who was never linked to the conspiracy._

_ I awoke three days after, and by that time the arena's destruction had been broadcast throughout the nation, and almost all of Panem had fallen into uprising. My actions, my flares of rebellion stand out as the cause of it, and I stand alone as the head of the war. _

_ The air is blanketed in dust, obstructing our sight, but either way all we witness is an expanse of ash and burnt earth. Nothing remains of the City Circle, or the Market Square, there is no indication a civilization ever existed where we stand. I look around at what used to be Western 12, the most prosperous of our District, leveled to the ground. District 12 is unfamiliar now, appears just as strange and foreign as the Capitol. Only two weeks ago I left here, my home, filled with coal miners, store owners. Granted under Thread's tyranny and rule of the Peace Keepers, it was still a home, their home. Whether from the ash, or the sight of 12 in smolders, I cry, but not from sadness, as I feel nothing at all. The terrain is veiled in haze, the expanse of ash seems to go on forever, there is no distinction between our directions, each step places me no distance forward, and no distance back, on a soft ground that crumbled at my feet. It's like standing in a dream, but my sanity prevents me from believing it. _

_ I consider, when he came to my house before the Victor's Tour, Snow warned me of the Capitol's influence and force, said that he could easily kill Gale or any number of people when incited, and that my defiance, sparking flames of rebellion across the Districts, would be met with flames. I strain to retrace my steps, to decipher which instance may have held this as a result, my provocation of unease in District 11, intervening in Gale's whipping, the performance I gave at the Gamemaker's demonstration, the charring of the wedding dress Snow forced me to wear. Unable to track the cause, I know my thoughtless, anger-driven actions lead to District 12's destruction, all as a result of my underestimating the Capitol, which, through this, I've learned never to do so again, and my lack of restraint or sensibility. This thought rests in mist in my mind, incapable of inciting emotion or query, to link to others who fell for my indiscretion. Strolling the valley, nothing but the apparent delve into my consciousness. If it weren't for me, countless people would still be alive, District 12 would be whole and inhabited, under the Capitol's rule, but still alive. Still alive. Coal dust would line the streets instead of embers, shacks would stand where ruins now kindle, and citizens would live, women would sew, men would labor, and children would play, instead of decaying beneath the charred flecks of their homes. Amidst these notions come flickering thoughts, shards of the lives we lived under the Capitol, poverty, cold, hunger, fear, the nights of pain from starvation and dread for Prim's life that kept me awake, and the lust to burn, the ease to swallow the burden, and fall into death, away from its grasp. I recall my longing for release, that I put aside for her sake, and the means to it, the only means to deliverance, and I granted it to them. The contrasting speculations clash in my mind, as the inperceivable surroundings make my head throb, and I dispel the notions as gradually as they came._

_ Gale and I walk through miles of ash and rubble. We have no road or point to follow, the District is a black sameness throughout. There is no differentiation between Western 12 and the Seam, it doesn't matter now, as it didn't when the bombs fell. I feel stationary, wandering our old home, but once we arrive there, I know it. We walk through the field of ashes to a smoldering pile of timber, and I stop. _"There's nothing left."_ I say, taking in the ruins of my old house. I recall memories of Prim and I growing up there, my father tucking us into bed every night, sitting by the fire on cold evenings, and I return, standing by the fire of its remains, burning amongst the ashes. I begin to cry again, only this time, I feel sadness. I stay for a moment. Gale comes up and puts his hand on my shoulder._

"Come on, let's go." _He says, walking me on. The scorched earth turns to ash laden prairie near the District Boundaries. We pass under the fence without hesitation, there is no source to power it. The forest remains consistent, save a lingering mist of smoke in the air, and the meadow appears completely unchanged. As we rest in the clearing, my mind begins to clear. Gale points our the path he took with the District 12 refugees, but I ignore him. I know details will only add to my nightmares. In the time we remain, I think of the times I spent here with my father, hunting and gathering, singing the songs we cherished, and listening as the Mockingjays repeated them. The Mockingjays fled the forest after the firebombing, and the smoke in the forest and lack of life in 12 makes it unlikely they'll ever come back. Then I think of Gale and I, how we met here, hunted, and provided our families for so many years. I realize those days have passed now. The District is uninhabitable, nothing but ash and ruins remain, we will never be able to return. This notion saddens me, but I don't cry. I'm overcome with knowledge that it's my own fault._

"They'll be back for us soon, we'd better go." _Says Gale, reluctantly._

_ I remain still for a moment, trying to maintain my thoughts. Suddenly I look up, with the realization that this may be the last time I ever see this place. _"...Okay, there's just one more thing I need to do." _I say, rising with him, and returning to the ashes._

_ The Victor's Village was spared the firebombing. It stands just as it was built, save the layer of dust. It was saved alongside the Justice Building and the Outlands as a reminder of the Capitol's jurisdiction in the District, even in its destruction. We approach the front lawn of my house, and I turn to Gale. _"Wait here, I'll be back in a minute."

"Alright, I'll be right here." _Says Gale, remaining in the smog._

"Okay." _I say, heading inside._

_ My thoughts turn to rationality and acceptance of my situation as I enter my home, to the storm beyond the mist-filled dream. Panem is in full rebellion, the Dark Days have come about a second time, as wide-spread and detrimental as before. The Districts war with the Capitol every day, denouncing their rule and governance, and I stand as their leader. The same bloodshed is brought as in the past, but they fight a new war now. While the Districts seek to crush the Capitol for their liberation, the Capitol needs only to asphyxiate the rebellion, cut off the lifeblood of their insurrection, I, the living emblem of their battle. As I drove the Districts into uprising through my defiance, I could just as easily drive them back into the ground through my submission or death. For the Capitol to stay me would be to stay all the Districts, their resources set against me would be more viable than against any army. Snow knows this well, he's been fighting this war for months now. _

_ These inquiries return me to my former realization, Peeta. Taken, in the hold of the Capitol, he is the strongest tie to me they have, and among the best they could hope for. In this war where I stand as their target, he bears the greatest threat of anyone in the nation, as to break him would be to break me. The Capitol knows it, Snow knows it, and he won't squander a chance this volatile. Each day the rebellion rages on, the more danger is imposed on him, Peeta, the boy with the bread, who spared my family at his own expense, who pulled me from their grasp countless times, who fell so many times to keep me on my feet. My debt to him is as large and apparent as ever, my oath to keep him alive, even at the cost of my life, still remains crucial. My only means to repay him is to see the uprising's end as soon as possible, by any means. It is my obligation to him to take up the mantle I bestowed upon myself, as I spearheaded the rebellion, it is my burden to see it through, to lead the Districts I brought into flames, in order to spare him, who I brought this war upon, my only means of recompense for the hardships they bear for my faults. _

_ Still lacking full understanding of my state, I gather the things I'll need for the task. I collect my father's bow, that fed my family so many nights, that saved my life so many times in the arenas. Then I take the pin from atop my dresser, the pin I spread throughout the nation, bearing the Mockingjay, the paradigm of their insurrection. These things assembled, I ready to return to the desolation. As exit, my eye is caught on a locket on my counter. Taking and opening it, I find a picture of Prim inside. I'd received it after my homecoming, and through the months of turmoil I'd forgotten I had it. Something draws me to look at it longer, take in my sister's face. My observation begins to incite anger, as I recall our nights of sleeplessness from the cold, the days she'd cry from starvation, her constant fear of the Games, and, upon looking out the window, the destruction of her home. My mind shifts to the Capitol, the pains they imposed on her, an innocent youth, and the countless others they burden from day to day. Flames rage inside of me, and my hatred for them, and for him, overcomes all prior thoughts. I rest the picture in my pocket, take up my other items, and ready to depart. _

_ Even amidst my anger, I'm taken in by the fact that I'll never see my home again, which holds so many memories from the short time we had, and I'm drawn to look over it one last time. I take in Prim's room, and my room, where I spent many, peaceful hours lying with Peeta, feeling his comfort, and even my mothers room. Downstairs I let in the sight of our living room, where Prim and I spent all our time together, where we watched as Snow announced the Quell, and where Peeta and I could be together, away from the eyes of the Capitol, where I'd always wished to stay._

_ The last room I perceive is the kitchen, where my mother treated Gale's scars after his public flogging, and where she and Prim treated endless others during the mine closures. I enter the room, but my initial site pauses me, paralyzed with fear._

_ A single white rose lays on the counter, unwithered, untouched, and I'm pulled into the memories of it, resting in Snow's pocket, complimenting his snake-like visage. I feel the fear I felt each time I saw him, coupled with the concern that he may be watching me, that he always has been. I return to my current place, and it occurs to me that it may be poisoned, but then I see the note placed underneath it, the the query is immediately omitted. Staggering, I walk over, and pick up the rose. Its scent is strong, it burns my nose and my mind, incurring memories of him and his acts._

_ Then I take the note, setting down my bow and pin. I open it, hands trembling. The paper wreaks of his vile scent, and his handwriting is unmistakable. Nervously, I take up the letter, and my heart stops as I begin reading his words._

"Tis the Kindler's burden to tend to her flames, lest she be caught up in the wildfire."


	2. Chapters Two Through Nine Changes

**The Hunger Games**

The Kindler's Burden

Chapters Two Through Nine: Differentiations from the Book

_Due to the lack of available, changeable material from the middle of the book, I won't be able to rewrite those chapters in an original manner, so here is how the story differs from the novel " Mockingjay" in those parts_

**Chapter Two: Fanning the Flames- **Katniss introduces District 13, noting its formulaic procedures, unbending from day to day, their seclusion from the outside world since their severance from Panem for survival, still surviving nonetheless, but with no motive to go forward. She cites the District, longing to keep their independence from the Capitol, while still seeking to play a role in the war around them, as caught in its own self-indulged Purgatory, while she, trapped in its walls, her cause being wrought without her hold, Peeta and the other victors being held by the Capitol, with no say or power to intercede in any of the affairs, lives in their constraining Hell. Katniss explains the history of 13, keyly how it came to house the rebellion's center. Decades after the Dark Days, apparently during Coin's rule, the District's populace began to diminish due to infertility, so she elected to open their boarders, lest they risk extinction. Eventually, a conspirator from the Capitol discovered 13, and they forged a treaty, District 13 would become the central base for the oncoming rebellion against the Capitol, and in exchange the agents of the insurrection would aid in re-populating the District, keeping their generations from dying out while the Cause was given a guarded, unknown home. Ranking rebellion officials, like Coin, Plutarch, and Gale are addressed, always in communication with each other, while lower ranking members, mainly soldiers, like Finnick, Katniss, and even Beetee, merely follow orders, and rarely informed on happenings in Panem or even on coming moves in the war. Katniss states that the ranking, informed rebellion agents can be set apart from the lowlier components by the communicators on their arms. When Gale and Katniss are called to the Command Center, Coin directly shows them Peeta's interview with Caesar, where he, amongst all other things, argued with Caesar the necessity of the war, claiming that, should both sides parry long enough, that there will be nothing left to govern or rule, that the only way anyone will come out on top is through peace and negotiation, and that, should the war be fought with guns and spears, that the rules who will come out won't even be human, as a proponent of slaughtering their opponents, and on top of that their own men for a cause of the people, canceling out all good done, saying that killing innocents takes away everything you are. Coin then remarks, briefly, that Peeta, being an advocate of the war's ceasing, is indefinitely against District 13 and the rebellion, to which Katniss argues, until Coin states that anyone who seeks the uprising's end sides with the Capitol, as they need not win the war, only outlast it. Coin then states that she believes Katniss has gained enough stability to take up her role as the rebellion's leader, or the "Mockingjay," rallying the Districts to fight the Capitol, uniting them under 13, and overall rejecting the Capitol. Katniss has misgivings about this, mainly for her allegiance being devoted to, and her activities coordinated by ranking Command Center operatives, like Coin, and her disdain for Peeta, and eventually notes that she feels that her influence on the Districts and the insurrection is the only thing forcing Coin to keep her family safe. Katniss expresses her concern to Prim, who urges the point that Coin needs Katniss more than she needs her, as Katniss is on the front lines, representing 13 in the fight, and that without Katniss 13 has no role in the rebellion, and therefore Coin has little ability to deny Katniss's appeals. Katniss agrees, realizing, for the first time, that 13's only motive for entering the rebellion is to set their place amongst the nation, which, viewing it as disconnected, non-conflicting interests with her purposes, elects to ignore it. Katniss meets with Gale who, having gotten into a fight with Boggs because of Katniss, was demoted from the Command Center, which Katniss finds odd. Katniss tells him of the proposal to appeal to Coin, which, when he questions her assurance in the move, she explains is partly for her unwillingness to play the part of a living puppet for an authoritarian figure again. Katniss's requests include her family's safekeeping, even in the events of her death, her use of bow and arrow weapons in rebellion campaigns, that each of the victors is kept alive, and that she kills Snow personally, to which Coin reluctantly agrees. In the first rebellion meeting, Coin proposes the use of propaganda films to entice straying Districts, which Katniss finds time-consuming and ineffective. At one point, Haymitch, who Katniss formerly doubted was even still alive, claims that using these methods would put them in the same place as the Capitol, influencing people through indirect messages, and would raise misconceptions about 13. Katniss agrees with this point, finding the proposal initially unusual. Haymitch proceeds to state that Katniss, as 13's greatest asset, should be placed on the battlefield, where she has always created the most influence. Coin again agrees, though not immediately, and signs Katniss on to a mission annexing District 8, which has forged a strong Trans-District military force under self-proclaimed District leader Calpurnia Paylor. Katniss agrees to the proposal, viewing this move as her first step in saving Peeta and all others she is indebted to.

**Chapter Three: Panem et Circenses- **As Katniss, along with Finnick, Gale, and several other District 13 troops, travel towards District 8, she considers Snow's words from his message, of controlling her flames, as she neglected to do before, inciting 12's destruction. She vows, silently, to lead the Districts as their new leader, coordinating them as she sees fit. In exchange, she sets a new code of morality for herself, wishing to give her followers a worthy leader, and vows to never kill anyone with greater intentions or actions than she. Katniss and the troops arrive, to Paylor's surprise and honor, and she attempts to negotiate with Paylor the idea of a union between District 8's army and District 13. Paylor, however, reframes, wary, as District 13 was only discovered by her a few weeks ago, and wonders why Katniss herself is affiliated with them, pondering what Coin's concern for Panem maybe. The negotiation is inturrupted when a Capitol air raid begins. Katniss, Finnick, and Gale betray orders and attempt to fend off the crafts. After taking down the hovercrafts, one of them destroying a rebel hospital, Katniss is put on camera, which she knows is her first opportunity to make an impression of the Districts. She recalls hearing the name of the country in a quotation from Before, about "Panem et Circenses," which translated to "Bread and Circuses." Through this, Katniss realizes, and states, that, as the Capitol presumes to crush the Districts, they only destroy their sole providers for resources, food, water, transportation, and power that they have, quoting that the nation is built on the standards of "Panem et Circenses," that the Capitol does not hold the Districts together, but that the Districts support the Capitol, provide it with materials it needs and entertainment, and that if the Districts fall they have nothing to rely on, claiming "If we burn, you burn with us." Katniss proceeds to state that the Districts, assisted by District 8 military, should begin blocking off and destroying roads and bridges to the Capitol, leaving only one rail line, spanning Western Panem to the Capitol, connecting it over the River, that District 8 officials will control, regulating the flow of resources and people across the nation, weakening the Capitol, purposely uniting the Districts under Paylor and 8, rather than 13. Katniss is praised by Finnick, but given concern by Gale about this move, inciting further concern about Coin, her influence, and her falling standing with her.

**Chapter Four: Path of Ash- **Katniss, shocked from the experience in 8, eventually returns to District 12's ruins, viewing the meadow, recalling it as her former place of hope before the spark from the Games, and recalls her father's song "The Hanging Tree," its lyrics, about death being a preferable alternative to living under the Capitol's hold, or overall under unthinkable circumstances, like guilt or death. Back in 13, Haymitch and Coin continue to bicker, Haymitch believing her to be an unfit leader, making odd moves in the offensive. Gale is placed back in the ranking of the Command Center, and begins designing weapons for the campaign with the Capitol. Katniss monitors him, uneasy, just as Beetee is, mainly of a bomb he designs called the "Skylla," designed to explode in multiple waves, killing not only the initial targets, but also those who come to relieve or revive the survivors. Katniss attributes this to Gale's ever changing personality, as his morality seems to slowly leave his body as the rebellion rages on. Katniss spends the next month, training with advanced weaponry, preparing for further endeavors, and begins to realize how long the affair with the Capitol has been going. She notes that she was only 16 at the time of her first Games, and now is nearing adulthood, notices as Prim begins to practice nursing with her mother and discretely fawns over Gale's brother Rory, and notices as her mother continues to age. Eventually, Katniss and the others see as Peeta is interviewed by Caesar and Snow, now in more broken down condition. Peeta states that the rebel's assaults against the Capitol, dependent as it is, are useless, as the war is just as detrimental to them as it is to the Capitol, day by day seeing the deaths of those they seek to guide, seeing the collapse of the society around them by which they work, stating that the victor in this war of flames, should it continue, will walk a path of embers to their kingdom of ash, taking nothing more than the opposers or any of the fallen, as there will be no nation to lead.

**Part Two: The Burn**

**Chapter Five: Counterstrike- **Katniss considers, while the air raids occur, what repercussions her actions may have on Peeta, or any of the others still held by the Capitol. She realizes, again, just how strong the Capitol is, that their forces cannot be easily matched or stopped, and comes to understand that more extreme measures must be taken in the war, but finds that such things would be dangerous to Peeta, and begins to obsess over his safety, still deep in his debt.

**Chapter Six: The Caged Bird- **Shortly after the bombing, Finnick tells Katniss about Snow's rise to power, which included his murder and betrayal of those who trusted and aided him. Katniss demands Peeta's rescue, to which Coin complies. Haymitch continues to pester Coin, writing notes and spreading word that she is an incompetent leader and should have no part in the rebellion, to which her hatred of him grows. Unusually, Haymitch and Plutarch maintain a close friendship.

**Chapter Seven: Panem United!- ** Katniss, Paylor, and several other 8 and 13 affiliates travel to 2 in order to deal with the Capitol's central military complex. Katniss and Gale argue about Peeta's stability, she believing, despite the psychologists' words, that Peeta's real self is still present by the look in his eyes. Lyme explains that she and the other outliers elected to depart from the Capitol when they realized that 2 was no more than a barricade, standing on the front lines when no even the enemy to serve the Capitol who never served them. veiled by seeming protection and glory. Lyme claims that 2 is a vehicle for distributing the risk of the Capitol's destruction, that should one side fall the other still stands, to which Katniss sees as a parallel across the river, as 12 fell for 13's survival, the closest of all the wooden guards to be burned. At the claim that such is done for the fact that, unlike 13, the Capitol does not have impenetrable walls, Katniss states that no wall is impenetrable and that the trick is knowing how to break them. The District 13 soldiers and Paylor argue about how to deal with the Nut. Repeatedly is expressed the point that invading and taking it is impossible, so Gale proposes they destroy is, flood the ventilation shafts, cause and avalanche to destroy the compound, and trap the soldiers inside. Katniss rejects his proposal, claiming that the Nut is their ace in the hole the taking the Capitol, the greatest asset they could ever get, and that destroying it would only evoke 2's anger, and squander any chances at siding with them diplomatically. The two argue and remain at a standstill, until Haymitch and Paylor step in, stating their only choice is to destroy the complex. Katniss despairs at this decision, considering the rumors that 8 gained its current status by the salvaging of the machines and supplies from an old armaments and munitions refinery in District 6. She states that while the Districts find and maintain opportunities and bridges and the Capitol imposes them that 13 merely forsakes and burns them. As Katniss aids the District 2 soldier, stating that no District is the enemy, only the Capitol, that they should serve one another, assemble their resources to crush the Capitol, and unite as a nation, as no one should hold them, 12 Districts united as one for all not under any rule, not of the Capitol or 13, she is shot on screen, knowing full well no District 2 snipers were in place.

**Chapter Eight: Why We Burn- **Katniss fervently trains and recovers to partake in the raid on the Capitol, finalizing the war by killing Snow. She watches as Gale continues to lose his morals in the war, almost to a point where she doesn't even recognize him. Katniss notes that she no longer trusts Coin, and fears what will come to her and her family once the war is over. When Katniss visits Johanna in her recovery, Johanna tells Katniss that they have to win the war, that she can bear the pain, knowing there might be something better to come, but can't stand the thought of living another minute under the Capitol's watch. She claims that they fought all this time to see the Capitol fall, knowing that something greater could be built from it, would rather die than have otherwise. She states that why they burn is because risking one's life to live in a world of hope and potential is preferable to living a life of non-stopped drear and day by day hardships, which Katniss fails to interpret.

**Part Three: The Penance**

**Chapter Nine: Up in Flames- **When Katniss bids farewell to her family, she promises Prim that her return will mean their permanent safety. Just as Katniss leaves, Prim thanks her, for what she dreads, knowing it's the war she's brought and goes to fight. Katniss boards the hovercraft, doubting that Haymitch even remains in the eyes of the rebellion. She holds solid determination as they travel to District 6 and to the Capitol. Leeg 2 dies on a scouting mission, and Peeta is supposedly placed in the Star Squad by a random lottery, to which Boggs berates Coin to no avail. Star Squad 451's objective is to reach the middle Capitol, meet up with a holdout squad of District 13 soldiers at a rendezvous point and proceed to Snow's mansion to assassinate him. No camera crew accompanies the squad. Mitchel openly challenges Boggs's choice in handing command over to Katniss, and refuses to take part in her plans to deviate from their course and seek a safer path in the downtown Capitol. Katniss misses the confrontation between Peeta and Mitchel, believing that Mitchel may have done something, either to Peeta or Katniss, to evoke Peeta's rashness. The group dresses in Capitol clothing, and make their way to the downtown Capitol. They are fired upon by rooftop machine gunners, who the map makers failed to account for. They seek refuge in Tigress's shop, assuming aliases, where Tigress explains of the Capitol's unfair treatment of aging and unsightly citizens, herself fired from Hunger Games styling for gaining weight. The chapter concludes the next day. As follows is Chapter Nine's ending, beginning the actual scripted story again:

_ I look out the window, more citizens flee to find refuge. The gunners have migrated closer, citizens a block away are shot down. A small, lone Capitol girl runs through the streets as fast as she can. I watch, thoughtlessly, as she is shot down by repeated gunfire. A short time is all I can bear to remain at the window. I immediately return to my teams, sitting in the main room. _"We have to leave, tonight." _I tell them._

"What?" _Asks Gale._

"The gunners are closer, they're looking for us. Innocent citizens are being shot in the streets, if we stay here we're as good as dead." _I tell them._

"What are we gonna do Katniss?" _Asks Gale. _"They'll kill us in minutes, they must be on every rooftop from here to Snow's mansion, we'll never make it to the rendezvous point."

"We're not going to the rendezvous point, we're going to Snow." _I tell him, readying my arrow._

"What, but, Coin said..." _Starts Jackson._

"I don't care what Coin said, she promised us safe passage through the streets, she failed on that, how do we know she won't leave us do die at the rendezvous?" _I ask, filling most with unease. _"We've come this far, they know we're here, this is the only chance we have. It's now, or never." _I tell them._

"...Alright." _Says Jackson._

"We're in." _Says Gale._

"But, even if we go by night, the roads to the City Circle are gated off, how do we get to Snow?" _Asks Finnick._

"I, I'm not sure." _I say. They all sit around, contemplating. _

"...The sewers." _Says Peeta._

"What?" _I ask._

"All the sewers lead to the Inner Capitol, how they transfer troops when the city's on lockdown, keeps them off the streets." _Says Peeta. They all look at him, confused. _"Snow's loose in information, at least to those he thinks can't use it. If we take the sewers, we can get there by tomorrow."

_I look at him, filled with confidence. _"Alright, when night falls we'll make for the sewers, from there we'll follow them into the inner Capitol, find Snow, and end this, alright?" _I ask._

"Alright." _Respond the others, Gale is last to respond. As the others depart, our eyes meet for a moment, and it feels like I stare at a stranger. _

_ Later in the afternoon, I lean against the wall, trying to focus my thoughts. I consider meeting Snow, ending what we've had for so long. Then I consider Coin, but I push that to the back of my head. She means almost nothing to me now. Then I'm struck with thoughts of my mother, and Prim, and whether or not we'll ever be able to leave District 13, confinement, obedience, order, anywhere we go, if my efforts even matter. Then I turn to Peeta, if he'll ever be the same person I sought to protect only months ago, the boy who gave me everything, who I struggle to repay, constantly. Then I turn to Gale._

_ As my thoughts do, I overheard him and Peeta talking. I lean closer to the wall, trying to hear them. _"And she'd always be the one to set the snares, she was a natural, ever since I taught her." _Says Gale._

"I know, I remember." _Responds Peeta._

"And she was always better at shooting, practiced since she was young, she even taught my brother some." _He goes on._

"That's good." _Says Peeta. In confused, greatly. It's the first time I've ever heard them have a civil conversation, or any at all. _"You spent all that time together, no wonder you're so close." _Says Peeta._

"Ya, I guess." _Says Gale, lowering his tone. _"But, she went and spent three weeks with you, and I nearly fell by the wayside." _He says. His bluntness takes me by surprise, especially with Peeta._

"Why would that be?" _Asks Peeta, perplexed._

"I don't know, not sure if she ever had anything with me, but she must've seen something in you." _His words make me feel uncomfortable. Gale has never spoken so freely about my feelings with anyone, it almost makes me mad, but guilt overcomes everything._

"I don't know about that, I don't even think she knows." _Says Peeta. It's another one of those moments, where I see signs of the old him returning. He shows empathy, he understands my feelings, my confusion, even if he doesn't know me._

"No, probably not." _Responds Gale. _"But, sooner or later she'll have to know, she'll have choose." _Says Gale._

"Choose what?" _Asks Peeta. I don't need to wait for his answer, the question has been in my head for the past year and a half._

"Choose one of us, which one she really wants to be with, she can't leave us out in the cold forever." _I listen, he only says what I already know, but hearing him say it makes me feel even more guilty._

"Oh." _Says Peeta, realizing. _"So, who do you think she'll choose?" _He asks._

_ I listen closely for Gale's answer, and unfortunately, I hear it. _"...She'll choose whoever she thinks she can't survive without." _Says Gale. I'm insulted by his words. Whoever I can't survive without, he means I'll choose whoever I need, as I needed Peeta to throw me bread, as I needed him to hunt for my family, not who I want, who I can't live without. I knew Gale had changed, but I never imagined this much, to define my friendship with him, my relationship with Peeta, as necessity, as motivated purely by need, selfish. I prepare to leave, then I hear Peeta speak._

"Do you really think that?" _Asks Peeta._

"Sure, I know her, I have for five years, you'll learn sooner or later." _Says Gale._

"Oh, maybe." _Says Peeta._

"Ya, I'll see you around." _Says Gale as he gets up to leave. _

"Ya, by Gale." _Says Peeta. _

_ I remain by the wall, and I try to keep silent as I sob. I can't believe the things Gale said about me, and what's worse, that he really believes them. Whether from his change in personality, or my own actions, I don't know, but it doesn't matter. Only one thing comforts me, the doubt in Peeta's voice, his doubt of Gale's words. Even now, no one's words mean more to me than Peeta's. He's one of the few people I still recognize._

_ I stay for a while longer, trying to sever myself from them, from the emotions I know have no place in our current state, but the more I try the harder it gets, so I decide to occupy my time. I leave the room, planning to assist Jackson and Homes as they trace out the sewers, and head for the downstairs. Unexpectedly, I come across Peeta in the same room he was in with Gale. _"Hi Peeta." _I say, stopping, looking at him._

"Hey Katniss. Can we talk?" _He asks, I recognize the inquisitive nature in his voice._

"Sure." _I say, sitting beside him. I do so, not out of obligation, but finding refuge in his closeness, security._

"You knew our Avox waitress at our first Hunger Games, real or not real?" _He asks._

"Real." _I respond, accordingly._

"You and Gale saw her get captured by the Capitol in the forest outside District 12." _He continues._

"Real." _I say._

"Her name was Lavinia." _He goes on._

_ His statement incites some confusion. _"I don't know, I never learned her name." _I tell him._

"I did, I saw her again when I was in the Capitol." _He tells me._

"You did?" _I ask, weary._

"Yeah, they thought I had some kind of relationship with her. They tortured her to get answers from me about you." _He tells me._

"Oh, wow." _I say, shocked, barely able to make reality of his words._

"But they killed her. They set the voltage too high when they electrocuted her, she died within five minutes." _He states._

"Oh." _I say, my mind going numb again._

"It was a good thing." _He says, flatly._

_ His words take me back. They don't sound like him and make no sense. _"What, how?" _I ask._

"The Capitol had her, there was no way she could get out, if not they'd keep torturing her the way they did us, but with no hope of escape. Dying was a much better end than that." _He says, seriously._

"Oh, I guess so." _I say, my mind not on him, on his words, about death being preferable to living under the Capitol's governance. This notion never occurred to me before, but when it does I understand it._

"Yeah. I just thought you should know. You knew her, not me." _He says, some sympathy in his voice._

"Yeah, thank you." _I say. He told me with the intent of his words bringing solace, and oddly, they do, just like his words always did, and I suddenly feel like I'm sitting with him on the train during the Victor's Tour, on my bed in our house in 12, on our couch, anywhere we'd been before. I look at him, and I can't help but give a small smile. Albeit discrete, I see when he returns the gesture._

"I hope I'm not keeping you. Did you have somewhere to be?" _He asks._

_ I sit there for a moment, thinking. _"...No, just passing through." _I say, keeping my place beside him. It's just us, alone, no one is here to guard him, make sure he doesn't hurt me, but it's the safest I've felt this whole time, and I can sense he feels the same way._


	3. Wildfire

The Hunger Games

The Kindler's Burden

**Chapter Ten: Wildfire**

_As the evening falls on the Capitol, we all assemble in the front of the store, still dressed in the Capitol citizen's clothing. We review the plan one more time. We exit the wig shop casually, keeping as discreet as possible, and head for the nearest sewer grate. We'll use the cover of night to block ourselves from the machine gunners. Once in the sewers, we'll change back into our combat apparel, and use the holoprojector to navigate our way into the inner Capitol through the sewers. Tigris gives us what little supplies she can, bids us farewell, and we set off. _

_ We exit the shop tentatively, scanning for any signs of artillery, but we find none. We traverse several blocks without incident or peril, and we reach the sewer grate and leave the streets with ease. Inside, we change back into the Star Squad 451 uniforms for combat readiness. I, however, dawn my Mockingjay suit, as I know Cinna designed it for no more opportune time than this. I take up the holoprojector, and read over the route we've planned. _"Alright, straight down this way, we'll take a right on my cue. Keep your weapons out, I want eyes in every direction, and be subtle, we're not safe anywhere here." _I tell them, only realizing this fact as I state it._

"Alright." _Respond the group._

"Good, move out." _I say, leading the path. _

_ The sewers seem to go on forever, branching off in every direction. I'd imagine this one system spreads throughout the entire underside of the Capitol. I lead our path, following the holographic lines through the tunnels. There is no sign of any danger down here, but my mind is no more at ease than when we were on the streets. Finnick stays at my side, and I begin talking with him. _"Do you think they know we're here?" _I ask him._

"Probably, we've set off enough pods, caught the attention of the machine gunners, they've probably been tracking us since we left the camp." _He responds, wary._

"I mean down here, in the sewers, no one saw us at night, do you think they know, somehow?" _I ask._

"I'm not sure, but if they don't know they'll find out eventually, they always do." _He answers, concern in his voice._

_ I proceed to ask the question I've been wondering the whole time. _"How long do you think we have?"

_Finnick considers this for a moment. _"...I don't know, a day, maybe two. They'll see we're not in the streets, they'll check the shop, there's only so many places they can look." _He states._

"You're right, but it won't take that long, we should reach the inner Capitol by morning." _I tell him, reading the projector._

"I hope so, we've come this far, but they have eyes everywhere." _He states._

_ I continue for a moment. _"...I know."

_We move along the tunnels, the conversation has died off, and we follow out route as planned. There are still no incidents, nothing dangerous at all, but my concern only grows. I look around and find Peeta near the back. _"Peeta, come here." _I call him._

_ He moves forward and takes to my side. _"What?" _He asks._

"Do you know anything else about the sewers? Anything that would tip the Capitol off to our position?" _I ask._

_ Peeta thinks for a second. _"...The Avoxes work the sewers, but only during the days. Besides that they didn't tell me anything else." _He states._

"Alright." _I respond, no more assured._

"Why, did you notice anything?" _He asks._

"Well, no, but I have the strongest feeling that they can see us, that they've known we're here, all along." _I say._

_ Peeta is silent for a minute. _"...Maybe, but it doesn't matter unless they act. If they know then they've given us this long of a grace period, they must want us there. Otherwise they don't know, which is a lot more likely." _He states._

"You're probably right, we should keep moving though, and keep our heads up." _I say, still hesitant. _

"Yeah, alright." _Says Peeta, backing off._

_ We continue down the tunnel. I don't notice any of the others, I'm too preoccupied with surveying the paths in front of us, holding the projector with one hand, my crossbow with the other. The further we move, the more suffocating the sewers seem, and the more I feel we're being watched. Gale then walks up beside me. _"Hey, we've been walking for hours, I think we should take a break." _He says._

"No, we can't, we have to reach the entrance before morning, or we..." _I begin, strictly._

"What, the Avoxes, it doesn't matter, we'll get around them. Come on." _Pleads Gale._

_ I stop in my steps. _"...Alright, but only a few hours." _I say, reluctantly._

"Good, come on, let's set up camp." _He says._

_ We drop out gear on the ground and make beds out of spare clothing and bags. I'm unable to sleep, my nerves get the better of me, and I just sit there, looking from right to left. Gale obviously senses my concern and sits next to me. _"So, we're almost there, what do you think?" _He asks, enthused._

_ I disdain from answering, as it's been the last thing on my mind. _"...I don't know what to think, if we even get there, an..." _I begin, distraught._

"We will get there, you know it. You've beaten the Capitol before, been in much worse places than this." _He assured me._

_ I shake my head. _"Never with the stakes this high, we're only miles from Snow, we get there it's over, all his resources will be against us." _I explain my doubt to Gale._

"It doesn't mean anything, we're stronger than him, there's only so much he can hide behind." _He states._

"I guess." _I say, realizing Gale's never seen firsthand just how much he has at his disposal._

"Trust me." _He says, placing his arm around me shoulder. Usually this would give me ease, but all I feel is anger, knowing it's pity. _"All we need to do is pray to God that things'll be swept up fast after Snow's dead." _He states, confidently._

_ I don't even look up at Gale, my anger grows with his belief of the situation's ease, how he can't be burdened by fact. I turn my head from him, I don't think we've ever felt more distant. _"I don't think there is a God, and if there is I want nothing to do with him." _I state, opposing him. He doesn't know what it's like, to see your entire life fall into shandles._

"Suit yourself." _Says Gale, not fazed. _

_ I remain for a second, and decide to get answers from him, someone who might actually know. _"...So what're they going to do, how're they going to run the country once Snow's dead?" _I ask him._

"Oh, they'll develop a system. Plutarch has books on government, how things were run before, sounds pretty good, better than now anyway." _He answers._

_ His answer gives me no confidence, "better than now" doesn't mean anything. _"Couldn't have been that great, look what they left us with, what they lead themselves to become." _I say, pondering._

"We know better, Catnip, do it right this time, Coin's got it all figured out, you'll see." _He says._

"Hm." _I say. _

_ Gale sits there for a second, barely noticing me. _"...You should be proud, none of this would be possible without you. Gave them a base to start the rebellion, carried it on, and look where we are now, we're this close. I don't know what any of us would do without you." _Say Gale, rubbing my shoulder._

_ I just sit there. I've heard the same sentiment too many times, maybe it's true, but holds what as a result. District 12 in ruins, war spread across the nation, both sides staggering towards nothing, each day, and a bleak sight of a future afterward. At least before we had stability, it was hard, but sure, a sure system, too sure. _"...Panem would be just fine without me." _I say, strongly believing in my words._

"Ah, don't talk like that. You'll see, when the work is done." _He states, still as confident as ever._

"Sure." _I say, still doubting each of his statements. _"...We should get some rest." _I say, laying back, tired of talking._

"Alright, see ya." _Says Gale, taking off._

_ After he leaves I lie there, thinking about all of this. Why are we here, what are we doing. We go in, kill Snow, but to what avail? He's just one man, like the hundreds that die each day, what different result will it yield from any other, and even if one does, what'll succeed it? Trying to rebuild a war-ravaged nation, with only books to guide us, we're wasting our time, working towards nothing. Whether we make it our or not, it doesn't matter. Maybe it's the exhaustion taking hold of my mind, but the query is strong._

_ I don't know how long I sleep, it must've been hours. I awake, and there is no differentiation of time, but something seems amiss. Nothing around me gives any kind of clue what, just the atmosphere. I look around, trying to put my finger on it. All there is is cement, blank walls all around us, like 13, only darker, colder. I almost start to believe we're back in 13, the blank, gray sameness at every turn, the ceilings, the floors, all the walls, stretching further than anyone can see, even the unbroken patterns. Then I start to think, the patterns on the walls draw more memories of 13, it's undeniable, but I can't place it. For the first time I hear silence, but not quite, I hear it, familiar, hear 13, the constant buz. The mechanical turning of the chassis of security cameras. Cameras, each placed a separate distance from each other, just as in 13. From beginning to any end, monitoring every move in the tunnels, only difference is those who monitor. _

_ Gradually I come to the realization, and I jump up, and start shaking Finnick, beside me. _"Finnick, Finnick!" _I yell._

"Uh, what?" _Asks Finnick, waking up._

"Cameras, they're all over the sewers, they know we've been here since last night." _I tell him, full of fear._

"What, oh god, you're right, hey, wake up!" _Yells Finnick, aiding me in waking the others._

"What's going on?" _Asks Jackson, taking up his gun._

"The walls are lined with cameras, they know we're here." _Says Finnick._

"We can't hide from them, we have to go, now." _I say, full of fear._

"But, why would they let us get this far?" _Asks Leeg._

"Why haven't they tried to stop us?" _Asks Gale._

_ I stand, looking for an answer. Then I look at Peeta, his face solid, not confused or concerned at all. The fear hits me, but they don't need to hold it as well. _"I don't know, but we have to move, we have to get to the Capitol's center as fast as we can." _I say._

"Alright." _Says Finnick, taking up his rifle. _"Come on, let's move." _We then continue on._

_ The path guides us further, we're nearing the exit. We all look around, waiting for something, but still, there's nothing. I keep my crossbow in hand, looking around. We continue on, then we're stopped. _"Ha, you hear that?" _Asks Peeta._

"What?" _Asks Finnick._

"Just listen." _Says Peeta, and we all go silent. The only sound is a very faint, rasping sound, but it seems to emulate from all over._

"What is that?" _Asks Gale._

_ I think back, only one thing I've ever heard can make that sound, only this is more frantic. _"The Avoxes, that's their screams. Something's down here, come on!" _I yell, pushing them on. _

_ We begin a brisk pace, following our trail, not even bothering to check around. We turn a corner, and are met by a group of Avoxes, rushing past us without notice. _"What's going on?" _Asks Leeg._

"I don't know, just keep going." _I say, leading them further on. We finally come to an intersection, three paths. _"We're almost there, it's just this way." _I say, stopping._

"What's wrong?" _Asks Peeta._

"I don't know, there's..." _I start, unsure myself. Suddenly I see movement off in the distance, then I turn, and see it from each of the three tunnels. I pull my crossbow up and prepare it. _

"What is it?" _Asks Jackson._

"Peacekeepers, they're all around us!" _I shout._

"Ready your guns!" _Yells Finnick, pulling up his rifle with the others. The Peacekeepers move in from all directions, all carrying clubs and swords, but in large numbers._

"Attack!" _Yells Jackson, beginning the fire. We take down lines of them, but they never seem to end._

"There's too many!" _Yells Gale._

"It's the only way!" _I yell, firing my crossbow._

"Hey, what's that?" _Asks Peeta, staying back._

_ I look into the distance, the line of Peacekeepers directly in front of us has a visible end, but something beyond them moves in. I stop my fire, and watch as it comes. The remaining lines of Peacekeepers collapse from back to front, and I can't make out why until the front two rows go down. Several of their heads are ripped clean off by large claws, others are torn through the torso, and the others are killed by severe piercing and laceration. The things are large, about seven feet tall, pure white, stand on two legs like humans, but are covered in scales, and have claws about half a foot long. Their faces resemble lizards, as do the other traits of their bodies, but the essence of human sticks with them. They're the most reached mutts I've ever seen, apart from the mindless blood lust of the monkey mutts, or the brutal, human facial complexion wolf mutts, they appear to be humans melded together with lizards, specifically designed for killing. As soon as they finish the squad of Peacekeepers, they come right for us. _"Get them!" _I scream, beginning fire on the lizard mutts. There is no hesitation from the others, the shock holds me longer than them. The mutts drop much slower than the Peacekeepers, and for each that falls three more seem to follow it. In a free moment I see the floods of them in the further tunnel, they've sent an entire army. _

"We can't hold them!" _Yells Jackson._

"Retreat, this way!" _I scream, pushing them to the right tunnel. As I glance to my left, I see the other line of Peacekeepers being ripped apart as more mutts follow us. Blindly, we shoot an opening in the line of Peacekeepers in the right tunnel to get past. We bother wiping up the resistance, the mutts will take care of that. We sprint our way down the tunnel, the mutts gaining ground on us. _"Come on, we're almost there!" _I yell, approaching the intersection. I glance back, the lizards are much faster than us, they get closer to us every second. Finnick and Homes in the back constantly shoot out the front lines while running, but it seems no good. _

_ I glance back to my front to see the ground dissipate at the intersection, leading into a large hole. _"Hold on!" _I scream, stopping just in time to miss the drop. The hole leads down about three hundred feet, into what appears to be a giant meat grinder. The Capitol knew we would come this way, they set up pods, even in the sewers. I look up to see more lizards coming directly in front of us. _"Come on, go around it!" _I scream, running off. I make more ground, and turn around when I hear a scream, to see Leeg trip and fall into the meat grinder. Instinctively, I start to turn back to assist her, but I stop when I see Jackson get pulled in, trying to help her up. I freeze with fear, the the oncoming lines of mutts push me forward. _

_ I can't tell who's still alive, but I keep going. I see the hatch to the surface, and several grates before it, which leads to the inner Capitol. I turn back to see who still lives, but all I see it the mutts barreling towards me. I see Gale and Peeta, taking shots as they make for the walls. Then I can make out Finnick and Homes, barely ahead of the mutts. I stand, shocked, and begin to pull out my crossbow. My hands fumble, and by the time I do Finnick is at my side. _"Go!" _Screams Finnick, pushing me on. I turn and run. Peeta and Gale have gotten ahead of me, but I can't make them out. I reach the ladder, and still don't find them. _"Ah!" _I turn towards the scream. The mutts have caught up with Homes, one has him in it's hold, he still shoots around him, Finnick is caught a second later, trying to defend against them. I think I head him scream something, but I can't make it out. It doesn't matter, I know what he says. _

_ I freeze in my spot, watching them be assaulted. Homes is soon ripped apart, and I see a mutt grab Finnick's neck and begin to pull up. I can't tell if either of them is alive, but I can't bear the thought. I lose control as I see the blood drip from Finnick's throat. _"Ah!" _I scream, silently. Subconsciously, I replace my crossbow, and pull out the holoprojector. I hold it at arms length from myself, and begin speaking. _"Nightlock, Nightlock, Nightlock!" _I scream, frantically, throwing it into the crowd, in the center where Homes and Finnick are. I begin to climb to ladder, but turn to see the explosion demolish groups of lizard mutts. _

_ Hurriedly, I climb the ladder, but the mutts are right on me. They begin to climb after me. I push myself as hard as I can, but the numbness in my hands hinders me. I feel one of the mutts claw at my leg. I pull myself up, but they make faster ground than I do. I stop, and fumble with my crossbow, but it's useless, all I see is the mutt reach at my torso. I continue to fumble, knowing it's too late, but stop when I see the ax pierce into the mutt's face, and it falls on the ground. I stand, watching it, shocked. _

"Come on!" _I hear a scream, and I don't hesitate. I climb up further, and reach out my hand as Johanna helps me up to a higher level. I see Gale and Peeta, even higher than us, shooting down at the mutts, dropping off the ladder, knocking the others back._

"Come on, move!" _Yells Gale, urging us to the surface. He goes first, and Peeta takes my hand as we follow him, my mind blackened._

"Go, go!" _Yells Johanna, throwing her last axes before following us up. _

_ We reach the surface quickly, I lose hold of Peeta's hand as Annie pulls him up, and I reach up my arm and am pulled up by Haymitch. I stagger on to the streets, and watch, disoriented, disheartened. Everything appears covered in haze, my thoughts shrouded in disbelief, and feels more like a dream than actual life, just like back in 12. I remain, frozen in my standing, shuddering as I acknowledge the reality of Finnick's death, and Leeg, and the others in the sewer, all dead within mere minutes, and all the while fighting with all will to keep the mutts back, and screaming for me to go on, to get out. All because of me. As sensibility returns, I begin to focus in on the situation, and naturally push these things back in my mind, unthinkable and numbing anyways, but tears run from my eyes regardless._

_ Haymitch pulls up Johanna, tossing one last ax behind her. I manage to stagger towards the hole as Johanna reaches the surface. Annie crouches down, reaching her hand into the hole, peering down the ladder, her face full of fear. After a second, Peeta places his hand, consolingly, on her shoulder. She lowers her head, pulls her hand back up, and stands up, he eyes closed tight, holding back tears._

_ I step back, trying to take in the scene, disoriented. Peeta stands with his hand on Annie's shoulder, Haymitch stands next to them, trying to calm her down, Gale converses with Beetee, and Johanna brings a large duffle bag from off the hovercraft. The scene perplexes me, and I can't understand any of it. _"Wha, what's going on, wha, what're you..." _I start._

"Just calm down, you're fine, thanks to us." _Says Johanna, setting down the bag and patting me on the shoulder. _

"Wha, what're you doing here?" _I ask, completely shocked._

"Here on Coin's orders." _Says Haymitch, walking over to us._

"They detected you going off track into the sewers, figured something had gone wrong." _Explains Johanna._

_ Beetee works on some communication device, calling someone in 13. _"Control Center, come in, this is Technician Beetee, we have arrived at the rendezvous, all Hunger Games victors are in the Capitol." _He reports. I'm still baffled, their objective, but why Annie is here, too. On top of that, Beetee's words confuse me, but my questions are nullified by Johanna's news. Enobaria is dead._

"I don't know, one day they were working with her in the psychological ward, then the next day she was sent off for execution, not like they would tell any of us." _She tells me._

"Oh." _I say, my queries finalized, but still uneasy._

"You alright Annie?" _Asks Gale, softly._

_ Annie's face is stained with tears, and she's still crying, but she tries to contain herself. _"Hu, um, yes, uh, I, I'm fine." _She says, sobbing, drying her eyes, standing up straight._

"Hey, it'll be alright." _Says Peeta, rubbing her back._

"Hu, I know, I know." _She says, softly._

"So, you're here, are, I mean, we..." _I start, trying to calm down._

"We're going with you to meet Snow. We're this close, it's time to end it." _Says Johanna, taking up her ax._

"Oh, good." _I say, feeling much more secure. _"And, Haymitch, you..." _I start._

"I'm still on the team, despite several demotions." _He says, pulling out a large bag. _"Put me on contraband, big mistake." _He says, throwing it on the ground, full of weapons and ammunition._

"Impressive." _Says Peeta as Haymitch hands him a sword._

"You know Johanna, you come here, to the Capitol, I'd think you'd be holding a gun instead of your axes." _I say, jokingly._

"Hey, weapon of choice, Everdeen, you know the form." _Says Johanna, signaling to my crossbow. _"Here." _She says, tossing me a wooden bow and a sheath. Both are familiar to me, they've sat by my bed for six years now._

_ I look at them, comforted, strong. _"Thank you." _I say, gratefully._

"So, what'd you bring for me?" _Asks Gale._

"What do you mean, you have a rifle, that's your field." _Says Haymitch._

"Yeah, but I trained longer with a bow." _Argues Gale._

"Alright, then use the crossbow." _Says Haymitch._

"No, a regular bow, with arrows, come on." _Argues Gale._

"Uh, sorry." _Says Haymitch, walking away from him. _

"So, where to now?" _Asks Peeta._

"We've got it mapped out here, Snow's mansion is about a mile, right down the street. Aside from a few Peacekeepers, we're all but there." _Says Beetee, showing him the map._

"So this is it, hu. It's almost over?" _Asks Annie, still lowly._

"This is it, this all ends today." _Says Johanna, confidence in her tone. _

"Well come on, let's move." _Says Gale, leading us on._

"Coming." _Says Beetee carrying his map._

_ As Gale passes me, Haymitch walks up to my side. _"Hey, you could do better, sweetheart." _He says, snidely, patting me on the shoulder._

_ I shake off his jokes, and begin to move. I look back, and wait for Annie and Peeta. _"Let's go Peeta." _I say, signaling for him to take to my side._

"Alright." _He says, following me. _

"Annie..." _I start, gently._

"Don't worry, I'm coming." _She says, taking to Beetee's side. She passes me, maintaining her composure, and I can't help but feel guilt and regret for her current state. _

_ We travel down the street, straight, clean. There is no person in sight, no pods, no barricades, nothing at all. _"What is this, where is everyone?" _I ask._

"You saw the gates, the whole inner Capitol is sealed off, except to Peacekeepers." _Says Johanna._

"All the refugees are seeking shelter in the North end, I'm surprised you made it out of there." _Says Haymitch._

"Just barely." _Says Peeta._

"Almost every rooftop is lined with Capitol machine gunners looking for rebels." _Says Gale._

"I know, not sure how we overlooked that, but not even Plutarch can map out everything." _States Beetee._

"So, you lost Jackson, Leeg, Finnick, and Homes in the sewers, and Leeg 2 on another patrol, Boggs in the residential, what about Mitchel, he wasn't accounted for?" _Asks Annie._

_ I decline for a moment, nervously. Then I glance over at Peeta, his expression solid. _"...He fell on a hidden pod, got wrapped in barbed wire, we never saw it coming." _I say, lightly._

_ Gale moves over to us. _"No, but..." _He starts._

"That's how it happened, he fell, alright?" _I ask, strictly, glaring at him._

"Alright, sorry." _Says Gale, bitterly, returning to his position._

"So much for the element of surprise, they must've tracked your every step here." _States Haymitch._

"May as well have dropped you right in the City Circle, save some time, probably a few lives, but none of that's ever been their way has it?" _Asks Johanna, bitterly._

"Hey, they know what they're doing, what they want, you have to admit, the procedure was difficult to pull off." _Says Gale._

"Yeah, wouldn't want them to waste time perfecting that, would ya?" _Asks Johanna, sarcastically._

_ I turn to Beetee. _"Beetee, you worked on the maps, what could have gone wrong?" _I ask him._

"Well, I'm not sure. To be honest I didn't, work, on the maps, I just designed them, put things where they told me. Wouldn't even let me look at the real maps, just the electric ones, kind of odd." _He admits._

"Oh. So who did look at the maps?" _I ask._

"Well, I don't know." _He says, admittingly._

"Okay." _I say._

_ Peeta looks around, curious. _"We haven't seen any Peacekeepers since we left the sewers, this road leads straight to Snow's mansion, where are they?" _He asks._

"Not sure, hardly occupy anyplace else, this is where they'd be." _Says Haymitch, confused himself._

"How many did you see in the sewers?" _Asks Johanna._

"There must have been at least two hundred, maybe more." _Says Gale._

"Couldn't have been their entire fleet, they'd know the mutts would kill them all." _I say. _

"Then, where are they?" _Asks Annie, looking around, spear in hand._

_ I walk, thinking for a second. _"...I don't know."

_Gale looks forward, determined. _"It doesn't matter, the less that stands in our way, the better. We'll get to Snow all that much quicker." _He says, nothing but confidence in his voice._

_ Haymitch looks around, unfazed. _"Maybe so, but I don't like this." _He states, grimly._

_ We continue down the street, scanning in our general direction for any sign of traps or troops, but there's nothing in sight. I notice Peeta has stopped, looking in one direction, focused. I ponder, and move beside him. _"Do you see something?" _I ask._

_ He keeps his gaze. _"I'm not sure." _After a moment he turns and continues on with us, but still keeps his sights to our right._

_ The road remains clear, even as we approach Snow's mansion there is nothing but emptiness. Aside from our footsteps we walk in complete silence, but I hold the strongest feeling that we're being watched. Suddenly, there is a loud crash, like glass shattering. Everyone quickly takes up their guns and searches the perimeter. _"What was that?" _Asks Annie, worriedly._

_ We look around, but there is nothing to discern the source of the sound. _"...I don't know." _Says Johanna, concern in her face._

_ I scan the area longer, but the emptiness is unbroken all around. _"...Guys, there's nothing here. We should go." _Gale says, finally, in an unusually low tone._

"Alright." _Says Haymitch, lowering his hatched._

"We're almost there, just a little further." _Says Beetee, his voice losing assurance._

_ Snow's mansion is in full sight, we're barely a quarter mile from it, and still no Peacekeepers line the streets. I've holstered my crossbow, and continue to trace the area, fruitlessly. Suddenly, I see a figure appear, a few hundred yards from the front of the mansion, moving towards us. _"Hey, look." _I say, signaling ahead._

_ The others follow my guide. _"What is it?" _Asks Johanna._

"There's someone there, in front of Snow's mansion." _I say._

"Peacekeepers?" _Asks Gale._

"Just one?" _Asks Peeta, suspicious._

"Coming this way, whoever it is." _Says Haymitch, wary._

"Too far away, can't make them out." _Says Beetee, straining to see from his glasses._

_ I peer ahead, focusing in as we near each other. As we move closer, the features become clear, the large hair, the tall, bulky build, and the formal apparel. I slow in confusion, trying to focus more, but eventually there's no need to wonder, he appears clear, and my wonder turns immediately to confusion, more so than fear. _"I, is that..." _I begin, baffled._

_ We move forward, then Gale stops in his steps. _"Snow?" _He asks, nothing but perplexedness in his tone._

_ We meet Snow a short distance from his mansion, in the middle of the street. His appearance is the same as it was months ago, his large beard, formal purple clothing, a white rose, and looks as formal as ever. _"Well, I thought I might meet you here, more than I expected, though. I trust your path was clear, the last few yards, anyway." _Says Snow, casually, somewhat mockingly._

"What're you doing here Snow?" _Asks Johanna, scathingly._

"I received word that Ms. Everdeen had arrived in the Capitol with a squad to raid my mansion, so I thought I would meet you half way, save us both the time and trouble of arranging our reunion." _Says Snow, holding his composure._

"What're you getting at?" _Asks Haymitch._

"This has been so long coming, not just since the rebellion, but since your entries in the Games, fighting for the Capitol's contentment, watching your fellow innocent die. Amidst the flames of rebellion I knew our reintroduction would be inevitable, and your arrival in the Capitol was the perfect opportunity." _Explains Snow._

"You put up defenses, put so many men and traps in our way. If you wanted us to meet you, why?" _I ask, confused._

"This road has not been easy, you know it as well as I do. My arrangements were intended to reiterate the notion of the hardships of its trek, the toll we pay in our blood and lives to carry it on. I was obligated to keep you in this sight to show you that our path must end here." _Says Snow._

"What do you mean? Of course it's going to end here, we came all this way, after all this time." _Says Gale, angrily._

"Indeed you did, we all have. We've come so far to reach this point, there's no need to proceed further, there's nowhere left to go. We will end here, but on our own terms." _Says Snow._

"What're you saying?" _Asks Beetee._

"I, myself, am keyly responsible for your strain, you journeys, and likewise you for mine. Those who are enlightened, force me to proceed in my endeavors of safe hold. We drive each other, and we, too, are permitted to bring stop." _He goes on._

"You're damn right we are. I don't now what you're thinking, Snow, but we're putting an end to this, here and now." _Says Johanna, viciously._

"I agree, but my intent is my terms. We've all seen bloodshed, much more than most others, so I propose we resolve this battle civilly, with agreement." _He states._

"On what grounds?" _Asks Haymitch, obviously annoyed._

"How about, at the next Quell, we instigate a new rule that we use Capitol children from now on?" _Proposes Snow._

_ Beetee looks at Gale and Johanna, intrigued. _"...I think we can live with that." _He states._

"Yeah, sure..." _Starts the other two, talking back and forth._

"No!" _Screams Annie, breaking the noise, and all eyes fall on her. _"This isn't about the Games. This isn't about what they did to Mags, or Blight, or Wiress, about the torture they bring once a year. It's about what they bring the rest of the time, the chains the put on us, the suffering we're forced to bear, and the chances that've been stolen from us. We won't give up for lenience over hope, over them. And if Finnick was here he'd say the same thing." _She states, strongly, tears running down her face._

_ The others stand there, scratching the backs of their heads, thinking. _"Yeah, I don't know, I'll have to go with Katniss." _Says Johanna, confused, unsure, looking at me, and the others follow._

_ I stand there, on the spot, pondering. It's now, for the first time, that I see all the lives in my hands, the reliance placed on me, my level of influence, neglected up until now. I consider 12, what it was before, the poor, sick, hungry, the burden of the mines, the lust for something more, that never came, the fear in those weeks, the pageant we all played a part in, outside the Games, candidly, our quickest source of relief. Nothing on top of straining weight, no less than nothing. _"...No, no, we won't. Even if we gain back the lives you take, project them on yourselves, we still lose countless others, in our strain, deprivation, and everyone else. Our lives have no worth here, where there's no hope for tomorrow, no doubt of our day to day constraint, our unbending labor, the hopelessness the Capitol imposes upon all our lives." _I turn from my comrades, and face Snow directly, no fear in my visage. _"The answer is no, now I'd like my fellow victors to confer." _I say, turning to the others, all confused, unsure._

_ Haymitch steps forward, confident, smiling. _"I'm with the Mockingjay." _He says, assured, nodding at me. Johanna and Beetee merely nod in agreement, sharing his confidence._

_ Peeta turns toward Snow, his expression solid, angry, determined. _"Forget it Snow." _He says, coldly._

"Ah." _Says Snow, standing back, thinking. _"Ms. Everdeen, would you speak with me in private?" _He asks, still calm._

"What?" _Asks Johanna, shocked._

"Are you..." _Starts Gale, angrily._

"Hey, it's okay, I'll be fine." _I interrupt, holstering my bow, starting to walk off. _"I'll see you in a minute." _I say, heading off._

"Alright." _Says Peeta, watching me go, wary alongside the others._

As Katniss left, Haymitch pulled out his phone as it vibrated.

_I walk alongside Snow, heading towards his mansion. _"Ms. Everdeen, hasn't this gone on long enough, shouldn't this quarrel of ours be resolved as swiftly as possible?" _He asks._

"Not at the compromise of our cause." _I state, bluntly._ "Why the sudden interest in compliance, Snow? You've made threats, drawn storms, and tried to silence and kill me since this began, what's changed?" _I ask._

"Experience, time to consider. This entire affair, in turn, has been a falling out between us, the result of our opposing endeavors and wants. Our only means to accomplish are to burn each other out, your flames of rebellion scorch the Capitol, while my flames of the Capitol's prolonging burn the rest of Panem, gradually deteriorating what each of us works for, if it doesn't cease we'll both be fighting for the ashes of our former glory. Only we can bring it to a close, only we have the means to dispel each other's battles. If we resolve to comply, can't both of our needs be met?" _He asks._

_ I consider his words, but only for a moment. _"No, you don't understand. The rebellion doesn't encircle the Hunger Games, it holds it as it's cause. Through your maintenance of its pageant to strengthen the Capitol's trust, you've damned it, inadvertently seeking your own hope, by providing the insurrection with its greatest spark. The light of your hope gave us sight of your intents, our greatest and only resource. The resolve of the rebellion is to blot out the Capitol's hope that relies on the detriment of ours, to bring life to those it was stolen from, from those who would willingly allow it. You of all people should know our contrasting sights cannot meet." _I conclude._

"No, perhaps not, by our own endeavors we've incited one another to challenge them, but if our conflict continues unresolved, neither of us shall succeed, everything we seek to build, or uphold, will be burned down by our opposing flames. Whether by compliance or blood, this war must end." _States Snow._

"By blood. Look at it from your perspective Snow, your methods. We've penetrated the walls and defenses, reached the Capitol's heart, and besides, you have nothing to barter with, hold nothing of necessity to us that we hold to you. You have no cards to play, Snow." _I state, factfully._

"Oh, I believe you are mistaken, the needs we hold from one another, presently, are mutually our greatest assets, and weaknesses, I think." _States Snow._

"What?" _I ask, confused. We now near the entrance of his mansion. The very front differentiates from the rest, made of solid cement, only a wide, blurred window making an indent in the wall. I surmise the addition was put on as a shelter for refuges._

"Ms. Everdeen, when you fended off the hovercraft raid in District 8 you sent me a message, about the true roles of the Capitol and the Outliers in the nation, of Panem et Circenses, the Capitol's complete reliance on the District's resources and provisions for survival, "If we burn, you burn with us." Well, now I relay that message to you." _States Snow, bluntly, looking at me coldly._

"What? What're you...?" _I begin, baffled. We enter Snow's mansion. The entrance hall is wide, large, made of clean blue tiles. It is dark, seems to go on forever. The only visible source of light seems to be a window in the very front, over which a curtain is drawn. _

"District 12 sighted Capitol bombers forty-five minutes before it was destroyed. With District 13 confined underground, troops spread thin throughout the Districts, and all resources set on the Capitol, our patrol reached the perimeter, penetrated their walls, and completed their reconnaissance and departure without any notice or incident." _Snow states._

_ His words confuse me at first, but fill me then with concern, fear, and anxiety, keyly from uncertainty. My time to think is limited._

_ Snow walks me over to the cement wall, and one of his Peacekeepers pulls on a wire, drawing back the long curtain over the window. The window spans across the entire wall, looking out into the streets of the inner Capitol, but initially into a large room, filled with tiles. The room is filled with beds, simple, obviously built for refuges, filled entirely with children, clearly from the Capitol. I take this in during the first second, and it only takes another to reach the focal point, a girl in white, sitting on a bed in the middle of the room, sullen expression, blond hair in pigtails, our sights meet at the same time. It's Prim._

_ My eyes widen, my mouth opens in shock, and I shake with fear, fully aware of my situation. I see her looking at me, afraid, hopeless, it's all I can do to resist calling out to her, as she watched me tremble at her sight. I barely maintain myself as I turn and speak to him. _"This doesn't involve her." _I say, rashly, harshly, desperately._

"I'm afraid it does, as much as it involves you, me, and all the Districts. Likewise us, anything we seek to protect, to support or uphold is as undeniably involved in this war as those who started it, through their connection and significance to us." _States Snow, coldly._

_ I turn from him, knowing the meaning of his words. I walk over to the window, and Prim walks over to meet me. I look at her, trying to give assurance, but I know I'm in no position to give any such thing. She forces a small smile, almost to say it's going to be okay, when we both know it's not. I return by dropping my gaze, as if to say I'm sorry, and her expression projects forgiveness._

_ I keep my eyes on Prim, but he still speaks to me. _"I make my proposition one last time, Ms. Everdeen, it is clear. Concede from the rebellion, submit to the Capitol, and I will let your sister go." _He states, coldly, blunt._

_ I stand, speechless, looking at Prim, fear, sorrow in my expression. She remains, looking at me, seemingly calm, admitting, her expression low, drained. I acknowledge the fragility of the situation, her life rests in his hands, until I retract myself from the rebellion. I look at her, and think of her innocence, her care, compassion, all the good she has and could do, she would never hurt anyone. No one deserves less to be here than her, and I know it's in no one's lot but mine to free her. Then my thoughts turn to the war, cities in flames, countless men and women in the Districts, fighting the battle I wrought, for my intents and reasons, that they put their lives and trust into. I think of Finnick, who gave his life for me thrive on, the rebellion's life, and Annie, forced to suffer his loss, and accept its necessity, for the cause I made. I think of Johanna, and Haymitch, Beetee, all victims of the Capitol's ploys, victimized again by choice for my beacon, the hope they seek for me to bring, and not just them. The entire nation bears my flag, the embers of rebellion I incited, the hope they sought from it, that they gave their lives and safety for me to bring, countless citizens, so close and far, all looking to me for hope, relief from the Capitol, at all cost, as I let them. I look again at Prim, and know it was I who put her here, and here I stand, the only one able to take her out, but, opposing, hold on my shoulders to carry on for the others, for the lives they gave, the trust they sent, for my promise of hope, from a cause I imposed, promises I'm obligated to keep, from my own burden._

_ I turn, slowly to Snow, reluctantly, sadly. _"I, I can't." _I state, starting to sob. Then I turn back to Prim, and look at her face. Her expression remains low, dull, but holds to look into my eyes, showing she still sees me, doesn't hold me at fault, somehow._

"Hm, so be it." _Says Snow, turning away._

_ I keep my sight on her, never wanting to look away, despite the fact that I can do no good, only to show my sorrow, and my care, and from her looks I can tell she knows. She is my last sight, her face goes from sullen to shock as I feel the butt of a gun slam into the back of my head. The pain burdens me for only a moment before I black out. _


	4. A Necklace of Rope

The Hunger Games

The Kindler's Burden

**Chapter Eleven: A Necklace of Rope**

_I rest, unconscious, in delusions, dreams, and vague thoughts for an indiscernible number of hours, and there seems no bridge between my subconscious state and reality, as both are just as hazed, diluted, and confused. Varying settings and sights flash before my eyes, the massive extending halls of 13, flames scorching the Capitol sewers, unidentifiable faces behind the flames, the valley, saturated in dust, our old home, I sit on the couch, my arm around Prim, while a clock ticks, second after second, the Capitol street, flooded with refugees running, being gunned down by machine gunners, the forest, 13's corridors, the Capitol train car, all sounds blocked out by the continuous, loud hums of security cameras, then silence, the meadow, clear, light shining through the treeline, Gale stands in front of me, speaking, quietly, muffled, fading more and more each second, and a cold, metal room, gray at every corner, silent. A prison cell, buried beneath the Capitol, and, although hazed, I know this is what's real, as I've no memory to relive it by. I remain on the ground, my head throbbing, weighed down even more by confusion, meshing, burdensome thoughts, none of them capable of elaboration or focus, all floating through my thought patterns, I can't tell which are real and which aren't._

_ My thoughts come and go, burdening my mind, uncontrollably, so I decide to revert, start with what I know for sure. My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. I was born and raised in District 12. I manipulated the Capitol in the 74th Hunger Games, and was named a political target. I pursued further acts of rebellion against the Capitol, and because of that District 12 was destroyed. An uprising was brought by my influence, and now thousands die each day for a cause I imposed upon them. I betrayed Coin's guidance in my endeavors and placed my entire family at risk. I assumed command of a squadron to venture through the Capitol, and saw its members drop, one by one, under my direction. Each of them died for my sake. Finnick, just married, gave his own life for my survival, his last words for me to run as blood dripped from his throat. Every remaining victor, who weathered the suffering of the Games, entered the Capitol to rescue me, see that I reach Snow, and now reside, unaccounted for in its streets. Prim was captured by Snow, and her life now rests in his hands. People keep dying for me, and I don't know why._

_ These facts and thoughts flash through my mind, each giving regret, sadness, and a feeling of disappointment, failure of responsibility, the strength of which I've never felt before. I think of them, of her, my sole purpose for proceeding, I sought to stop them for her, and now she stands within reach of his hand, and all others, who died for an idea I gave them, something greater than I could ever deliver, but gave everything thinking I could, despite knowing they'd never see it. She was with them, she believed in me as much as they did, hoped for what I could give her, what I always wanted, and now she stands to end up just like any of them, in the masses of the dead._

_ This thought sticks in my head, my mind, my senses, none become clear, but this flickers in my mind, unstopping, undeniable, fills me with determination, with reality, anger, strength. I struggle to pull myself up, stagger on the metal floor, slipping, but finally force myself up. I look around, I've never seen one of their prisons, but I infer it's miles beneath the surface. I find the door, barred, only a small slot of visibility. I begin walking towards it, my eyes set, determined, unbreaking. I reach to my side, and I find my father's bow, still holstered on my right. I look at it, confused, surmise they thought no threat of it, as my sheath is gone as well. I disregard this, I clasp it in hand, tightly. I continue towards the door, and try to pull it open, fruitlessly. It is locked, and I scan it for a source. I find a small, silver lock on the front, the only thing holding the metal door closed. I take my bow, and begin smashing it into the lock, forcibly, swiftly. I continue, and see way give in the pad. After a short time, it breaks off entirely, and the door slides open. I kick it aside, still holding my bow, and travel out into a long, metal corridor as a loud siren sounds._

_ I look around, all I see is similar metal doors, and find one open as I travel on. I peer inside, and find my sheath, among several other confiscated items, lazily placed inside, not considering the possibility of escape, or sabotage. I take the sheath, and examine it. Less than a dozen arrows inside, but it discouraged me none. I place it on my back, and continue down the hall._

_ I travel onward, at a brisk pace, keeping my eyes set in front of me, not turning, not breaking focus. As I turn a corner, I see them, Peacekeepers, coming towards me. I brace for gunfire, but most of them carry clubs. They come in a hoard, there must be a dozen in a line, all coming with their sticks. I swiftly pull out arrows, shoot them through the glass shields in front of their faces. As they get too close, I merely slam their heads with my bow, knocking most out in one hit. None of them put up enough force to keep me back. I continue, shooting out random Peacekeepers in the crowds. One who holds a gun shoots me in the leg. The impact feels superficial, and the limp barely impacts me. I just as quickly fire an arrow in between his eyes. I shoot more and more down, until my allotted arrows run out. As my resolve, one remains in the sheath. I venture on, beating more down with my bow, and slowly their numbers decrease, as the, seemingly back line, troops fade in numbers. Dozens lay on the ground, unconscious or dead, it's unclear, but it matters not to me. They seem to only comprise the bottom floor, like the remnants of the forces, which I wouldn't doubt. I travel up the levels, desolate, empty, there is no trace of life anywhere. _

_ Only around ten floor separate my cell from the surface. I reach a small office on the top, and reach the exit. The door is sealed, but it is slammed open in only a few hits. _

_ I enter the streets of the Capitol, midday, just as barren as before, and I presume that I'm still in the inner Capitol. I begin to scan around, my surroundings don't look familiar. I begin to fill with concern, Snow's mansion is nowhere in sight, and I begin running, desperately, through the roads, past buildings, blocks, looking for the structure. I begin to gasp, from nerves and exhaustion, start ventilating, my concern begins to swell to fear, and tears begin to stream from my eyes. This continues for a time, until I turn a corner, and I see it, clear, still just as I left it. I stop, paralyzed, and look in disbelief, gasping, still sobbing. My wonder soon fades, and I begin to sprint towards it, towards him._

_ I see Gale, standing calmly in front of the mansion. He no longer wears the combat uniform, he is dressed normally, as if he were back in 12, or the meadow. I only catch a glimpse of him, but he looks calm, and still confident. He looks to me as I approach him, run into his open arms. _"Oh, Gale, uh, Gale!" _I yell, frantic, exasperated._

"Katniss." _He says, remaining calm._

_ I continue to sob, still full of fear, hopelessness, worry. I feel like a child, helpless, needing his guidance. _"Uh, Snow, he, he has Prim, she, she's in there..." _I start, barely able to gasp out the words, tears running down my face._

"I know." _Says Gale, still calm, consoling me._

"Uh, uh, Gale, what do we do?" _I ask, fearfully, helplessly, gasping. I begin to sob again._

"Easy, it's okay." _He says, smoothly, rubbing my back. _"Just calm down, you like music?" _He asks._

_ His words, alongside his passive visage confuse me. I begin to pull myself from my uncontrollable sobbing, and look up and speak to him. _"Hu, what?" _I ask, confused._

_ He looks up, into the line of the city ahead of us, cool. _"Listen, can't you hear it?" _He asks, still holding me._

_ I look at him, confused. He suddenly holds up a conductor's stick, and points to a certain point in the city. Oddly, a siren begins to sound, and then another, and several more after that, forming a familiar tune. Then, the sounds increase, changing tone. _"Wha, I hear it." _I say, shocked, baffled, astonished, but more confused, and still trembling._

"Yes." _Says Gale, waving the stick in the air. The music continues to play, the sirens mimicking Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. I just stare, first at him, then the sirens, and ahead. My emotions whirl around in my head, wonder, confusion, awe, but overcome with fear, confusion, and worry, all at once. I stand there, barely able to keep my footing, my mouth hangs open, as it's all I can do, and I hang on to Gale for support._

_ The tone begins to increase to the zenith, and Gale's expression remains calm, and confident, his confidence rising. _"Yes, now, the crescendo!" _He states, confidently, waving his stick._

_ His words still baffle me. The music reaches its height, and Gale moves his stick so it points at Snow's mansion. As the sirens raise, he signals to the mansion. I witness his movements, the mansion, the sirens, the song, and everything at once, my head spinning, overcome with so many perceptions. The high notes hits as Gale points at the Capitol._

_ I watch, speechless, as the exterior, concrete wall explodes, one after another, countless explosions, decimating the wall, destroying the barrier in front of Snow's mansion, the place where Prim was held, captor, bursts into flame, through trailing explosions, turning it to rubble, scorching everything inside._

_ I fall to my knees, my mouth remains open, letting go of Gale, my eyes wide, my head burning, as I watch the rubble smolder, the structure flare and crumble. _"Uh, Prim!" _I shout, shocked, disoriented, tears running from my eyes, my heart aching in my chest. My mind lingers on it, Prim, imprisoned in the cell, shocked with explosions, burned with their fire, scorched into nothingness. Died right before my eyes. I lose all composure, and collapse on the ground, holding my face, sobbing uncontrollably. _"Uh, ah ha ha, no, uh, uh, no!" _I sob, unable to stop._

Gale watches the explosion, confident, smiling, waving his stick. "Yeah." He says, proud. He looks down at Katniss.

_He puts his hand on my shoulder, trying to console me. _"Hey, Katniss..." _He starts, still jovial, trying to be courteous be lowering his tone._

_ I immediately break, pull my head from my hands, get to my knees, and viciously swipe his hand from my shoulder. _"Get off me!" _I scream, looking him straight in the face. _"I never want to see you again!" _I scream, meaning each word, clear in my head. I turn from him, as tears come back, sorrow, remorse, pain, taking over, facing the ground._

"Oh, I get it now. The only use I ever was to you was keeping your family alive, I see." _Says Gale, bitterly, returning to his other visage, his cold, callous attitude regarding our relationship._

_ I don't even turn to face him, I find that I can't anymore. I think back to who he was before, and thinking of him now breaks me down. I feel that if I see him, I'll begin to cry and never be able to stop. _"You've changed Gale..." _I start, sobbing, no anger in my voice, just sadness. _"just months ago you were saving people from the bombing, and now you kill helpless children like nothing." _I finish, and as I do I begin to sob again._

_ Gale turns around, preparing to leave. He bends down lower, and his face changes again, back to confidence, but not as much as before, and speaks to me, his voice fully assured, matter-of-factly. _"Hey, in order to make, or break a nation, some innocent need to burn. You should know that better than anyone, Catnip." _He says, patting my on the shoulder as he walks off._

_ I stay there, on my knees, my body frozen, looking forward, thinking of his words, and their truth, and my heart begins to burn again, stronger than ever. My mind races to Finnick, to Leeg, Jackson, the countless dead in 8, and 2, to the thousands dead on my accord. My breath ceases, and my head aches, more than ever at these thoughts. The burden becomes too much for me, and finally I break. My thoughts turn back to Prim, the sole person in the world who deserved better, worked her whole life to help the sick, the wounded, never thought or did any wrong in her life, and fell into his hands, and he fully placed her back in mine, where I let her go, and now she rests in ashes, like all the others. _"Uh, ah ha ha, ah, oh, hu, hu, ah." _I collapse again, my head on the street, covered by my hands, unable to stop crying, feeling I never will. How long I remain there, I don't know, it doesn't matter. _"Uh, ah, ah, uh." _I continue to sob._

_ Over my cries, I can hear footsteps, but I don't stop until I hear his words. _"We must stop meeting like this, Ms. Everdeen." _Says Snow, still businesslike, but raspy, weak._

"Uh, hu." _I say, confused, shocked, looking up just enough to see his face._

_ He stands there, coated with ash, clothing torn, his hair messed up, looking feeble, must've been caught up in the blast. _"Our meetings are always accompanied by drear, rebellion wrought in my state, threats of death and torture towards your family, and now this." _He states, seriously, casual, but his voice lacks power. _"I offer my condolences for your sister." _He states._

_ My anger grows, but it's overshadowed with pain, mourning, disbelief, and remorse. _"You're a monster, you knew this would happen." _I speak, my head still down, tears running from my eyes, my voice shaking, sadness shows strong in it, trembling, weak. I begin to sob again._

_ He speaks again, his composure set. _"Hardly, that your sister's capture would mean her death on my account, that her and the refugees would be turned into human shields, seemingly by my orders, the Capitol's reputations destroyed for putting children in the crossfire. I was just as blind to this as you were." _He states, honestly._

_ His words present much sense to me in the situation, but I don't believe him. _"Then, why, why did you take her, if not for this?" _I ask, pulling myself together, getting to my knees._

"Because, in order to yield your compliance, I needed to draw you here, and put something at stake you couldn't live without." _States Snow._

"What, my, compliance..." _I start, baffled._

"We've both grown much throughout this war, learned from it. First, it was my intention to kill you, and dispel the kindler of the rebellion and therein cease it, but then I found that that wouldn't work. Then I sought to destroy 13 and the stronghold of the uprising, I saw that wouldn't work either. Finally, I realized that the only way to end the rebellion, was to get you, its bringer, to call it off yourself. Now I see that that wouldn't have worked either." _He states, lowly._

_ I remain there, taking in his words. _"You wanted that, could have just killed her, and broken me." _I state._

"Not so, Ms. Everdeen, I've monitored you over the past year, become aware of your stability, your resilience. When the District 11 girl died in your first Hunger Games, you avenged her by defying the Capitol and saving both yourself and your partner. In the Quell Games, even when you thought Peeta was dead, you carried on your endeavors and destroyed the perimeter wall. When you found Peeta had been hijacked by the Capitol, turned against you, with no hope for recovery, you set off to destroy the Capitol's central military compound as revenge. I found that the deaths of your loved ones only drove you further towards this goal. _He turns towards me, sullenly._ "Katniss Everdeen, calm in the face of death." _He states, factfully._

_ I remain confused, more so now, the scenario shrouded in mystery, unable to grasp it. _"Then, why did this happen. How, I mean, who..." _I begin._

"You know the answer Ms. Everdeen. It comes as shock to me that you didn't see it sooner, but then, neither did I, despite it standing in front of us the whole time. Only one person benefits from both our downfalls, someone who's sought both our failures all along, for her own advancement, and has now seen it through." _He states._

_ I sit there for a moment, thinking, even though I've known it all along. _"Coin." _I say, lowly._

"Yes, at the fall of the Capitol, and the destruction of your intellect and rebellious nature, Coin would flourish where both of us fruitlessly sought to, and while we fought to destroy each other for our own purposes, she needed only sit back and watch." _He states._

"So, she, she knew, she did this..." _I start, shocked._

"Yes, had it planned to the number. While she sent you into the inner Capitol, she opened their boarders and left your sister susceptible to capture, knowing we would strike at the moment, bringing both of us to a common place of vulnerability and demise." _States Snow._

"She had, she'd planned this, all along." _I say, realizing._

"Yes, really was quite ingenious. At the same time the Capitol's reputation was demolished with the death of child refugees, she sought to simultaneously break you into mental instability with the death of your sister, with neither of us being the wiser." _He says._

_ I sit there, thinking, of all the clues given me, all the signs I missed, overlooked, up to this one point. _"She's planned this, plotted against both of us, used us against each other." _I say, my mind blank._

"Yes, I believe we've both been played for fools, Ms. Everdeen." _States Snow, admittingly. _"When I gave you the message, "Tis the Kindler's burden to tend to her flames," I never anticipated the manipulation of a third party, acting for us to be caught up in our own wildfires." _States Snow, defeatedly._

_ I try to get up, but can't, only think of the situation, the faults for it, and then her. _"She, she wanted us gone, you, and me, but her, she, she never would've, she, didn't need to..." _I start, beginning to tear up again._

"Of course she did. When one finds that their opposing forces cannot be controlled or stopped, their only solution is to break them, find their closest, most vulnerable links to thrive and crush them. Your sister to you, just as the Capitol's protectorates to me." _States Snow._

_ I sit there, thinking back to Gale's words, and what I've known all along. _"Then, it wasn't her, it, I, I'm the one responsible for her death, me, from my influence, my role." _I state, filling with remorse._

"The hopeless always cling to lights of hope, Ms. Everdeen. As we venture towards our intents, burning the opposition along the way, we always draw our loved ones into the fire, setting them up high as obvious targets, as lifelines. Like moths to our flames, hold them close, only to watch them burn along with us. Never our intent consciously, possibly subconsciously." _States Snow, sympathetically. I feel his words in my heart, just as I did with Gales, as both tell me the same thing. The ones I sought to protect, sought their betterment, allowed them to burn for me, to die so I may carry out my cause, put their lives at stake through my acts, and let them fall, one by one. My regret swelters, and my mind goes blank, knowing I'm the one most deserving of death. I killed just as many as he ever did without a thought. _"We're really quite alike, both sought to build something more, scorching out what stood in our way, clashed with one another for dominance, never knew that we would both inevitably travel down the same road of embers, our intents destroyed with no prior knowledge." _States Snow, reminiscing._

_ I think, realize the truth of his words, and remain, pondering. _"Coin crushes both of us, takes over the nation, fire scorched, burnt, ashes that we made it, all she's ever done, even her closest she's only sought to destroy. Then what, it, can barely stand, with, with her, as head, she, what..." _I begin, thinking, finding truths I should have considered long ago._

"It will falter, albeit more resourceful, her purification comes through fire, just like ours, but once the hindrances are gone, the nation, reduced to ash won, her methods become useless, as the nation will need to be rebuilt when the only tool at her disposal is destruction." _States Snow._

_ I take in his words, and begin to consider them, alongside all else. _"...She hasn't won, not yet." _I say, getting on my feet. _"But, her, 13, and now, without the war, and my play, ho..." _I begin, unsure._

_ Snow walks towards me. _"Wouldn't leave it up to chance, she'll likely send reserves, try to sweep up what she hasn't already destroyed, you, and any of the other victors, anyone who may ever pose a threat to her rule, take the Capitol under her troops." _He turns, looks to the side. _"And she'll be here." _He says._

"How do you know?" _I ask._

"From experience. There's no faith or dedication in fire, only in the one who stands over it as its kindler. I believe she's here this moment, now, is your chance." _States Snow. He looks at me, not as an equal, but as a superior, belief in his words._

_ I look at him, thinking back to all he threw against me, all the times he tried to stop me, the people he killed, the ones he's tortured, all leading to this. _"...Why are you doing this, why would you help me?" _I ask, perplexed._

"Because, I've found it quite inspiring, tracking your progress, witnessing the twists and struggles in your ever changing voyage as the Kindler, Spark Setter, the Girl on Fire, if you will, reminded me much of my journey, only to see you walk the path of ash from the death of your loved ones, I find it very disheartening." _He states, and I look at him, confused, continuing to cite similarities between us, and their authenticity. _"Similar to the road I took, I feel one of us may as well come out of this struggle successful, the only one who still can." _He says, defeated look in his face. _"However, it may also serve as revenge for me, on the one who destroyed my republic, but, I won't live to know it. I'd also like to think of it as recompense for young Primrose, the innocent I unwittingly placed at Coin's disposal, never needed to die, never would have without my intervention, I find this my only way to make amends." _He goes on, looking at me. _"I truly am sorry, and I offer you this penance." _He says._

_ I can't help but turn from him, trying to clear my head. I hear his words, hear the meaning, the regret, the honesty in them. Snow, of all people, offers me penance for Prim's death, truly regrets it, blames himself for bringing her death, and offers the means to make it right, as his only means to do so. I look off, thinking, my mind blackened._

"Do you believe me, my words, my sorrows?" _He asks._

_ I don't even look at him, unable to. _"...I believe you." _I say, softly._

"Very well." _He says. I stand up, look at him. I see how weak he is, how defenseless, far from the man I met just five months ago, of mere hours ago. _"Now, with the Capitol fallen, all the walls breached, I have no more means to hold you back. If you wish to kill me, for all the harm I brought you, I will grant you the courtesy." _He states, his expression serious, solid._

_ I look at him, thinking of his words, his acts, his road, our road, standing here. I recall the vow I made at the beginning of this war, that I would never kill any man who was better than me. _"Good-bye." _I say, looking him in the eyes, and turning from him, for the last time, leaving him standing, solid, watching me go. _

_Kindler, scorcher, iconoclast, destroyer, roles I took on to bring hope anew to the nation, roles anyone with any diverse mindset could have taken on, and watch the results flare in front of their eyes, just as they watched, she watched us, and I brought it to happen. Either of them could've, did, do the same, only difference is he sought to hold it, fully capable of doing so, and we could do nothing, and I set the sparks, urged them to burn, wanted for it, for my reasons, and let it go for so long. I let so many die for my cause, let them fight the war I incurred, allowed them to follow my bleak light to their deaths. Finnick, Wiress, Mags, Jackson, likely most of the others, and even Prim, all died for me to push onward, to reach the height I could never reach, but that they and I both falsely thought I could, as I let them, to let me live for my lies to them, the false hopes I promised them, even knowing they'd never see them, even then, more than willingly, and I let it. I recall my father's words, things he told me in confidence, seclusion, words they wouldn't let us repeat, or ever speak openly. " We live, undeserving of the Capitol's strain and tyranny, until the day we lose our innocence." I've long since lost that right, to hold to myself the injustness we all bear, and now earn every ounce of it, rightfully, for the fire I wrought, the false light I led them into, the promises I broke, could never have made, my will to let it go on, and my resolve to go on without taking its burns upon myself, former._

_ All they did, all they sought through me, and their deaths, the lives they gave, all they believed I could bring, not on my own, not through my hands, but maybe through another, to bring it by taking it from hers, and to another. Coin can raise a nation no more than I can, but delivered from her, from him, from me, possibly another can, must. As we destroyed it, in good form and time, we cannot restructure it, our greatest overlooking and flaw, those they follow, the bringers of the flames, who lead them, in line and in lead, our unwritten obligation to do so, we the only ones who didn't know it. I figured the former notion, that it doesn't matter who sends us in, so long as the opposition falls. Of course it matters who sends us in, they're the ones who will have to build the nation up from the ashes. If she thrives, she'll oversee the death of her midden nation, I know it for sure._

_ Real or not real? Coin ordered Peeta's death for mere statements against the rebellion, her means to power. Real. She sent us into 8, alongside all others, to annex it into 13's secluded, safeguarded army, for greater, prenatal control over the nation, with only their endangerment at stake. Real. She and her government saw to District 2's death as a mere, inhuman threat to the state, striking casualties, familiarly, as a show of strength and reach. Real. Each former victor and potential insider to their politics saw their way into the Capitol, and their inevitable placement on the front lines as a means of disposal. Real. Coin's influence saw Prim's capture and death at Snow's expense to rid him and I, the deadliest variables in her pursuits. Real. Thousands of innocents, including Prim, burned following the hope I placed before them, willing or unwillingly. Real. Their efforts, lives, and deaths were all in vein, the nation will live on as it did under Snow, countless more burning under death relying rule, fading rapidly in the embers I brought them. Not Real._

_ Only two more people will burn for this rebellion._

_ I'm on Coin faster than I realized possible, my eyes locked on her, standing in the center of the inner Capitol, making fast pace on her. I see the city slowly populate around us, District 13 troops flood the streets, gunning down Capitol citizens, fleeing desperately. I recall Snow's statement, he sent them to dispose of the last of us, ordered to kill everyone in the Capitol, keyly all the former victors, placed at their finger tips. Gale was always on her side, I recall, his placement here would dispel the theory, they forfeit him nonetheless, I think. His death would be a liability, until I remember the communicator on his arm._

_ She detects me quickly, scopes my knowledge, hostility, and intents. She draws a pistol from her belt holster and fires it. The bullet strikes my left shoulder, causing me to flinch, but barely slows my procession. Her next shot impacts my left breast directly, but doesn't leave a mark. Thanks to Cinna, this Mockingjay is bulletproof. As she quickly reloads, I arrive in her proximity. She fires past my head just before I slap the pistol from her hand with my bow. I pull back to strike her again as she pulls out a dagger and counters my attack. _

"Uh, ah!" _She screams, countering. We exchange slashes back and forth, then I make contact with her face, drawing her back._

"Ah!" _I scream, running forward, lunging at her, and throwing us both on the ground, dropping my bow in the process. _

"Uh, ra!" _She yells, trying to take hold of me, forcing her dagger in my direction. _

"Er, ah!" _I scream, holding her hand back, trying to take the sword from her hold. She throws me on the ground, and goes in to stab my throat. _"Uh, oh!" _I yell, desperately clasping her arms, pushing back her force._

"Eh, ah!" _She yells, strengthening her force, but I hold her back. _

"Uh, ah!" _I scream, throwing her knife from her hand._

"Ah!" _She screams, throwing me back from her. _

"Oh!" _I groan, falling on my back._

"Uh!" _She moans. She pulls out a small, circular flask, and throws it at my torso._

"Ah!" _I scream as the flask shatters on my chest and explodes in flames. My body becomes engulfed in fire, flames and smoke blocking my sight, as my suit is burned open, my skin flaring. _"Uh, er!" _I yell, reaching, grabbing my bow. In one motion I pull his arrow from my sheath, rapidly set it in my bow, pull it back, and blindly fire at Coin, helpless on the ground. _

_ The flames clear just as I see Coin collapse on the ground, the arrow directly in her heart. _

"Hu, hu, hu." _I sight out, all energy drained from my body, collapsing on the ground from fatigue, just feet from Coin's dead body. _

_ My vision goes blurred, I look around, senseless, watching the streets fill, more and more, watch soldiers come in lines, killing one another, not just 13, but what looks like 2 armed forces, and 8 infantry, slaughtering the 13 militia all around. I observe, perplexed, my head spinning, taking in the scene, making no sense of it, won't take the time. I look down at Coin, then at all the death around me, the innocent dead on the street, and the hoards, battling in front of the smoking mansion. I look back at the ground, and my mind goes blank, my eyelids drop, and my expression goes dull, as I turn my head towards my right shoulder, forcing the Nightlock pill from its pocket, drawing it into my mouth. _

"No!" _I hear the yell, barely audible now, over all the gun shots, screams, stomping of boots, shattering of glass. He reaches for my mouth, and I pull back, as much as I can force myself to move. He continues to grapple with me, a slow fight, and finally he slaps the pill from my mouth, and I just sit there, breathless, weak, disoriented. I hear him gasping, from nerves._

_ I keep my head down, too weak to look up, too little to face him. _"Why couldn't you just let me go?" _I ask, dully, lightly, pitiful._

_ Peeta leans down to my level, looks me in the face, and I barely recognize him. His face is scarred, covered in blood, just like the rest of him, but mostly his eyes, the look in them I haven't seen in months. It's him, the him I thought I'd never see again, stands right before me, like they never said he would, and I begin to sob, as I stand, in my current state, in his presence. _"You can't, Katniss, after all you've done, after all this, you don't deserve to die, you deserve to see it, see what you made." _He says, emotional, meaning each one of his words._

_ I turn my head from his, tears running from my eyes. _"What I made, I never made anything, only ruined." _I say, barely able to speak without braking up. _"Don't deserve anything, after what I did. I let them die for me, I let Finnick die, I, I let Prim die..." _I start, and my composure breaks, and I begin crying uncontrollably, softly. _

"It wasn't your fault, Katniss, you know that." _He says. I'm not convinced, but I'm comforted in the fact that he is. _"You did your best, all you ever wanted was to help them, and they needed it, they needed you, they do now." _He says, holding my shoulders, starting to cry himself. _"You brought them this, you broke their ties to the Capitol, broke the binds that've been on their lives since they were born, gave them a chance." _He says. I look up at him, remembering words I've heard of my good doings, words I never took as true, but maybe because I never had his perspective, or any of their's, so I listen. _"Now, now they need you to stay together, to keep going, to get past this, you're the one they follow Katniss, you're the one they believe in. You're their hope Katniss, and without that they have nothing." _He says. _

_ I sit there, thinking of his words. The fire they're drawn to, the light they follow, either one, I'm their reason for following, for going on, as I liberated them from the hold, the strains that dispelled their hope for so long, what I wanted all along, albeit clouded. I begin to gain my footing, gain back my composure, and, for the first time, really look at who I am, who I made myself, to the nation, to its people, to her, to him, to everybody. _"You did for them more than anyone else ever could, and you deserve to see it through, for them, for yourself. Don't you understand?" _He asks._

_ My mind strays from his words, subsequently, to what they arouse in my mind, the thoughts that suddenly coalesce in my head. _"...Yes, their, purpose, for going on, their reason, it's me." _I say. He nods his head at me. _"I know, cus, cus of you. Without you, I have nothing to fight for." _I say, and give him a small, true smile, which he returns._

_ He looks back, then grabs my arm. _"Come on, we have to go." _He pulls me up, and we walk off through the raging war._

_ "Without you I have nothing to fight for." The words slip from my mouth, as they did everything started to make sense, the rebellion, us, I, and him, the war, my war. I never saved Peeta out of obligation, out of some kind of debt I owed him. His actions have no debt. He was never an added burden or task in my battle, he is my battle, just as much as they were. People wait for me to admit I need him to survive, but I never will, because I don't. I don't need Peeta to survive, he is my will to survive, my purpose to go on, to seek more, just as I was for them, am, for those left, and for the first time, I realize how he's felt about me all along._

_ As he pulls me along, I think of him, his character, and his guidance, and the guidance so many seek in me, so much better in his hands, what he did for me, and in that, did for all of them. There is only one way to know a man's measure in these times, man who constantly stands at the precipice, whether he chooses to jump, or refuses to fall, and spares all others. Release never crossed his mind, as it did mine, so many times, where I never had the right, never deserved. He helped me see, now, from choice, or obligation, never will again, until the day I die._

_ On our way to the hovercraft, we meet with one of Paylor's troopers who escorts us the rest of the way. He debriefs me on the situation. District 2's military compound was never destroyed, merely blocked off and kept operational, out of Coin's sight. Shortly after our arrival in the inner Capitol, Plutarch caught word of District 13 troops being dispatched to all the Districts to incur authority. He reported to Haymitch, and he and the others boarded a train and alerted District 2, while Plutarch escaped 13, sent calls to each District, and arrived in 8 where he informed Paylor, and boarded a hovercraft that brought him to 2, where he met Haymitch and the others. Paylor lead her wide army into the Districts to rid 13's infantry from them. District 8 troops stormed 7 through 11, and District 2's armed forces raided all remaining Districts and the Capitol. The two armies now wage war across the nation with 13's thinly spread, leaderless forces. _

_ We reach the hovercraft, and there I meet Paylor herself. _"Soldier Everdeen, District 8's army is at your service, do you have any words?" _She asks._

_ I look up at her. _"Coin's dead, the militia lacks lead. Look for their crest, all District 13 soldiers are shoot on sight." _I tell her, wearily._

"Yes ma'am." _She says, beginning to head off._

"Wait!" _I call, and as she comes back I pull the key card from my pocket. _"Take it, get into 13, clear out the rest of them, spare the civilians, but make sure no remnants get out." _I say, drifting off, but fully aware of the task at hand._

"Alright, and thank you." _She says, patting me on the shoulder._

"Yes." _I say, seeing her off, heading for the craft as the war rages on around us. _

_ Haymitch and Johanna help us on. _"Hurry, come on." _They say, helping the two of us up._

"Uh, here." _Says Peeta, pulling me up._

"Uh, thanks." _I say, getting my footing._

_ They begin to seal the doors, and Johanna puts her hand on my back, seeing me to my seat. _"Hey, sorry about your sister, kid." _Says Haymitch, sympathetically._

"Yeah." _Says Johanna, sadness in her face._

"Uh, thank you, thanks." _I say, holding my head, still strained, until I take my seat next to Peeta. The craft takes to the sky, and I sit there, holding on to him, looking into his eyes. He just holds me, like he has, so many times before. I think back, the safety he always gave me, that he gives me now, that he likely shared with me, that I gave him. I feel safe now, but secure as well, as he holds me, and he looks into my eyes, as he probably does, that now, after all this, we can be sure of each other, their warmth, their care, their light, the hope we give one another. I sit there, he holds me, I hold him, and I know nothing will ever threaten to tear us apart again._

_ I sit there, in his arms, him in mine, and feel assurance, hope, and safety, like I've fallen into a dream, or another world, we now have the chance to live in, and it comforts me like nothing else before._

_ My mind suddenly jogs back to them, 12, the others, to Prim, and the feeling fades as the burn engulfs my body_


	5. The Meadow

The Hunger Games

The Kindler's Burden

**Chapter Twelve: The Meadow**

_The hovercraft docks in 12, granted a clear strip. They're working on sweeping up the ashes, the City Circle and almost all of Western 12 is cleared. All that remains is shandles of homes and shops, and the Justice Building, covered in soot, their seal promptly removed from it before our arrival, no coat of dust in the sky, and no ashen carpet to smother the ground, the District bears, to a small extent, a relative discernability. _

_ Plutarch sees me off the craft, and we shake hands before he departs. _"Well, it's been an honor, Ms. Everdeen. We'd never have accomplishes anything on this long road if it weren't for you." _He says, jovial as ever._

_ Aside from our current state and my status, I'm able to somewhat share his disposition. _"Thank you, Mr. Heavensbee, but don't accredit everything to me. You planned so much, saw it through, you played your part well, and I know you'll continue to." _I state, confident in my words, in him._

"Why thank you, I can tell you I'll certainly try my best." _He says, patting me on the back and heading for the craft. _"I hope our busy paths will meet again someday, and don't be a stranger if you want to come around." _He says, boarding the hovercraft._

"I won't, sir." _I say, waving good-bye._

_ Haymitch waves alongside me, then grabs my shoulder. _"Come on, let's get you home." _He says, and I walk alongside him and Peeta back to the village._

_ Word reached the hovercraft shortly after our stopover in 7. District 13 was breached and cleared of all remaining, resisting troopers. Civilians were spared and given the option of remaining under new lead or being escorted back to respective Districts. 13's field forces were crushed within hours of the Capitol raid, and any remnants are being hunted by lingering soldiers. The Capitol stands battle scarred, sparse of any life, vacant of former citizens, awaiting reconstruction while the Head of State is repositioned in District 4. Paylor is on constant commute, overseeing Panem's reconditioning, giving confidence to the struggling citizens that only their leader can. She was sworn in by popular demand, my recommendation included, and works tirelessly with Plutarch, Secretary of Communications, tracking progress and controlling information from District to District, to reshape the nation, but not to its former glory, to something better._

_ The streets are filled again, not with coal carts or mine workers, but with carriages, medical carts, and a combination of 8 troopers, assimilated Peacekeeper corps, and even some other District volunteers. Paylor sees to 12's reconstruction, she sends more workers every day, and with each day we near rebuilding our old home. The mines are all buried under fallen rock and rubble, they will remain unopened as memorials for all who died in the firebombing while the District sets its intentions on hospitals, medical treatment, and producing medicine for the nation. It's a rapid change, unexpected, but welcome._

_ Haymitch sees me to the front steps of my house, and she sees me inside. She received word from 8's transport workers upon her departure. I can see in her face hurt, sadness, returning pain, but she readily maintains herself, and I know it's because of me. My anger, my continuous negligence of her feelings, and my worsened handling. I'd never really forgiven her until this point. I never understood her drear, her loss of ambition, until I saw Prim die before my eyes. Now I finally understand the pain that she couldn't explain to me, that I had to experience for myself to fully relate, that I held against her for so many years. All of this I tell her, try to explain, and apologies countless times over, even though she doesn't need words to know it. Then we both mourn for Prim, recalling her disposition, her selflessness, her good acts, which eventually brings us to tears. She tries to comfort me while I try to comfort her, but neither does any good. Alongside my weeping and the strain of everything that's happened, I decide to retire to my room. _

_ Before I do she gives me a hug, which I, for the first time in years, readily give back. Seeing me off, she tells me something to console me, something I don't understand until later, but that they all do. _"She was so proud of you, Katniss, you did so much for her, for all of us. She'd never forget it, nobody will." _She says, her expression serious, but grateful._

_ I fail to comprehend at first, as I need time to consider her words, but they calm me nonetheless. _"Thank you." _I say, giving a small smile, heading for my room._

_ Her words stay lost in my head, and soon trail off, which leads me to think of him. Peeta, his whole family gone, just as lost as the many other survivors. Alone, after all the times he kept me company. She took some convincing, didn't take kindly to it at first, but when I told her of what he did, pulled the Careers off me at his own expense, kept Cato's hands from my throat, fought off tributes with his injured leg to save me, pulled the pill from my mouth, she humbly let him in. He came into our home, grateful, generous, kind, as we both know him to be, and acted as a sort of light on us, a warmth, that we lost with her, and fit well into our family, lessening our hurt just a little. _

_ It wasn't long after that I got to know him, his interests, likes, personality, in a way I'd never been allowed to before, no constraints, no cameras or threats, and no prior engagements, with all the time we needed, and eventually I fell for him, felt for him what he had for me all along, with the grace of having nothing to reject it. I finally came to realize just how much he could give me, confidence, care, hope, love, that I, unknowingly for so long, gave him in kind, with nothing to restrain us from finally sharing it. It wasn't until then that I realized he was always there for me, and I was just blinded and confused because of him, but he granted me the luxury of not having to wonder from the path he chose._

_ Gale survived the Capitol raid, discarded his communicator at first sight of District 2 soldiers, sparing his life with them by breaking ties to 13, just as he had with 13 by breaking from his own home. He never saw to his family's safe homecoming, but he keeps in contact, according to them. He landed a swanky job in District 2, I see him on T.V every so often, barely able to look into his face, why I find it a gift for me, but a hurt for them, that he never came back to 12. _

_ Hazelle keeps up a steady living, between the state's aid for 12 survivors and working for Haymitch, trying to keep his house clean, she's able to support Rory, Vick, and Posy without trouble. She visits us regularly, we're just as close now as we were with him around, the only thing that separates us is the secrets I keep. I'll never tell her the things he did, how he betrayed 12, the Districts, his own family, how he betrayed 13 in kind to spare himself, how he betrayed me, my family, Prim, for his own advancement. She never needs to know, I hope she never does._

_ Haymitch has cleaned up, says he only drinks on the weekends or at parties, but whether it's true or not, I know he's grown up. He still sleeps with a knife, but sometimes I come over to find him awake on his own, and he even shaves and cooks. We receive regular visits from him, not just as our former mentor or fellow soldier, but as long time friends, and I'd almost go as far as to call him family, or maybe just a neighbor. Despite Paylor's lifetime Compensation Act to all Hunger Games victors, he found work helping to fix up 12, and even hopes to get a job in a hospital or lab when they're developed. He attributes his acts to helping Peeta and I in the arena, and the actual care he developed towards us, now finally looking for purpose in life, rather than just avoiding it._

_ I visit Johanna and Annie when I get the opportunity, as we've become good friends over the rebellion, and sometimes to see something new, like the lush, radiant forests of 7, or the bright, relaxing beaches of District 4. Johanna comes out to 12 on occasion, still working as a lumber jack, unwilling and unwanting to deviate from the profession her father taught her. She expresses her happiness that Peeta and I are together, but claims she has no intents of settling down. Annie, I know, never will, still heartbroken over Finnick, the only one for her. She works as a secretary in a District 4 government building while raising her and Finnick's newborn son, Jackson, named in honor of the man who gave his life to try and save ours. Each time I see her she seems to get better, but still exhibits signs of strain and anxiety, but it's understandable._

_ I haven't seen Beetee since before the Capitol fell, apparently lives in District 3, commuting across the nation as a technician. His schedule prevents me from seeing him, or even speaking. I've never been fully sure, as he designed the bomb alongside Gale, but I know in my heart he had nothing to do with Prim's death, so I hold nothing against him, and hope to see him again._

_ Plutarch takes trips to 12 as often as he can, meeting with Haymitch to play cards and drink, always finding time to say hello to Peeta and I. I've developed a liking and strong respect for him, citing him, along with Paylor, as one who picked up where I left off, and finished what I never could._

_ Peeta often travels with me, and my mother works part time in a hospital in District 4 until they open in 12, so all of us witness as the nation thrives. Not only are we free to travel the Districts, each is given its own government, their own say in the happenings in the nation, and there are rumors that the concept of Districts is going to be done away with. The citizens are free to chose their homes, their families, and their lives in Panem, as they never could under the Capitol. We've even heard word that soon the nation won't be called Panem anymore, the new name I can't recall. Peeta, each time we see the steps they're taking, credits it to me, just like Annie, Johanna, Haymitch, my mother, and even Plutarch, stating that this new nation, although not build by me by any means, is my doings. Before I wouldn't understand them, but by now I've come to understand them._

_ Plutarch, Paylor, and many others may be the ones constructing our new home, but I was the one who presented the means for such things, gave a port for things to change, went against the Capitol, and the restrains they put on us, broke those bonds, and opened it up for new opportunity, new hope. It's what they all saw in me, what they thank me for, the one good thing I ever brought to them. When I acted, defying the Capitol, praising the charity and people of the District, seeking something more, I gave them hope, a driving force by which to redefine life and freedom in the nation. Hope, what I spread amongst them, through my flares on the Capitol, the rebellion I started, promised a new nation by burning out the old, and the fact that I saw it to an end finalized their new sights to prosper. As I think this over, my mother's words return to me, Prim's pride in my actions, all I did for her, that she would never forget it, and it finally makes sense. I recall the last time we spoke, as I left for the Capitol she thanked me, and until now I never realized for what. Now I know, she thanked me for my defiance, my inaceptance of our flawed system, the means I presented to fight for better, for the hope I gave her in even the darkest times, even just for a second, like Peeta for me, so many times. "Thank you for the moments," her meaning, the moments of hope, of promise for the future, the best things I had to offer, which meant more to her, and them, than anything else. It's what they tell me so often, that the hope I granted through my rebellion, my acts, my sparks, made better all lives in the nation, that I built this new world, full of potential and faith. I know they believe their words, as do I, since they're true, but they don't see the contrast._

_ I may have saved them from their formula, stalemate lives, but I did so on their own expense, I started a rebellion to dispel the Capitol's hold, which meant all who I sought to help would jeopardize their own lives, die in an endless battlefield to stop them, never see the fruits of what they did, albeit sacrificing many times over what I did. I kindled the Capitol, the nation, the burn the Capitol, to bring new light to Panem, but in doing so I burned the undeserving in kind, let thousands of innocents give their lives over risking mine, all for my purpose. When he spoke to me he was right, just as he sought to maintain the nation through the death of unaffiliated, helpless people, I sought to break it and, not by my doing, rebuild it by their casualties, carelessly, as blind and indifferent to their losses as he, or her, but somehow they did so with no refrain or regret, as they, unlike me, proceeded without recognition of the fact. I realized the selfishness of my cause, took me too long to see, why I sought to rectify them through my conclusion of the fire, and my exodus, but now find that one was necessary, the other impossible. _

_ Coin's death served as recompense for their loss, my required means to do so, and also the nation that followed, but payment for my damage is not fully served. Their deaths meant new lives for their loved ones, Coin's death, my doing, allowed for it. Recompense has been served for their lives, but still left unresolved is my penance for allowing them to do so under my authority. I will pay penance for their deaths every day for the rest of my life, I will live on, keep going with the pain, the burn, to make it right. As much as I must live to keep strong their hope, I must also live to bear the burden, the fire of their deaths by my hand, to serve them as well as suffer for them. I recall Snow's message to me, the theory he found, " Tis the Kindler's burden to tend to her flames, lest she be caught up in the wildfire." His words were true, I learned through experience, but his sights were shallow, never looked beyond his own accord, I did, and for that reason I found my own verse. " The Kindler of the innocent shall incur burns of the soul, that flare one thousand times the length of those of the body." These words define my life now, for my rebellion, for the thousands I let die for my cause, rather than take it upon myself, I will live, day to day, suffering from the guilt of bringing their deaths, cutting short their lives, as there is no hope in death. Each passing moment, no matter what good, what comfort comes from it, will be complimented with pain, with flares from thoughts of them, Prim, Finnick, Wiress, the list seems to extend forever, like the flames that fill never fade, as they never should. It's my new burden to bear, to suffer forevermore for the wildfire I made, engulfed them in, to hopefully make amends for all the harm I wrought, that no physical act can make up for._

_ Conversely, as they tell me, they all died willingly, seeking death in a hopeless world over life in it, hoping to build hope for others through it, as were likely Prim's thoughts. Without me, their lives meant nothing but definitive hardship and toil, with no chance for advancement, and their deaths were merely entailed in my plans to aid them. However, I chose these methods to do so, could have been done a thousand other ways, but I chose the path of flames, to watch others burn for the cause rather than put my own life on the line, could have given hope to the thousands who died as well, but I placed my own well-being ahead of them, and allowed so many more to suffer and fade for my purpose. Eventually, the two clashing thoughts give me a headache and I have to lie down, but whether I can make sense of its morals or not, I know the pain I deserve to hold, the penance I'm forced to pay._

_ While the burn will never dissipate, I've found that it is allowed to lessen. I've taken it upon myself to recognize the ashes of my deeds, if not for most, for Prim. I wear the locket around my neck at all times, consistently reminding me of, not only her death, but also her life, honoring and mourning her at the same time. I find this leavens my strain, a certain right to make up for my acts, as I should have recognized before the fire was brought. Likewise, I still carry my father's bow, not for its use, not for its assistance in my life, but in memory of him, and all he did in his time. Honoring the dead, whether by my influence or not, I've found, is fair service, makes better my being, and helps me live with my flare._

_ One more thing quells the fire within me, more so, I think, than my vigils. _

_ He'd never seen the meadow, my source of escape, my small place of light, of hope, before my spark. I thought it only right to bring him, to try and give him something as great as he's given me. We went there together for the first time, and we took position there, took in the place. The sense returned to me, and I saw it fill up in him, and we shared in its hope, just like we shared in each other's. The scene occurs to me of the meadow, how few people have seen it, witnessed it, now no longer necessary, as it's effect has been spread wide throughout our nation, our hope is no longer confined here, but it's a good reminder. I think of him, the hope he had in me, like so many others, to bring this very thing, and now I've delivered it, and brought him here. It's a small token to give, like a burnt loaf of bread to a starving child, even the smallest beacon of hope can cast light upon the darkness. We find the meadow, clean, clear skies, natural, untouched by human hands, just like the warmth he gives me each day, they're the first things we've given each other without fire, through seamless flows of hope, rather than flares. I feel this flow cleanse my mind, feel I can keep it going by my will, which projects to me the greatest hope. The hope we can create within ourselves, not from our flares, our ashes, our exploiting games._

_ He holds my hand, and we bond over our warmth, that we share in one another, and he begins to speak to me. _"I'm glad we're here, I know how special this place is to you, and I can see why." _He says, smiling._

"I thought you would." _I say, almost laughing._

_ He sits there for a moments, looking me in the eyes, while the light shines upon us. _"You really love me. Real or not real?" _He asks, levity in his voice._

_ I give a small laugh. _"Real." _I sit there for another second. _"...You always did. Real or not real?" _I ask._

_ He returns my laugh. _"Real." _He looks at me, I look at him. We look at the forest, the light, the trees, the freedom, the security, the hope. _"We made this time, this life, this moment..." _He starts._

"It'll be like this, no matter where we go, no matter what we see, what happens..." _I continue._

"We'll live our lives in the light, in the warmth, with a hope..." _He goes on._

"A hope that can't be taken, broken, or forgotten, and will never end." _I finish._

"Real." _We say in unison, holding our hands tight, seeing through each other's eyes. Then we embrace, and kiss, with no doubt that our happiness, love, our safety, our hope, is real._

_ In the spring the Mockingjays flock back to the forest, and begin to spread throughout 12, perching on rooftops, filling the skies, emulating our songs from every corner. Some people think they're drawn by the bird on my pin, or even the shine of the pearl on my neck, and I believe them._

_ I wear them everyday. _


	6. Epilogue

The Hunger Games

The Kindler's Burden

**Epilogue**

_She runs swiftly through the prairie in her bare feet while he chases her, trying to keep up with his short, stumpy legs. They find refuge as they play in the meadow, where we sang, where I met him, where we shared. I was always hesitant at the thought, but Peeta wanted them so badly. It took him five, ten, fifteen years to convince me. Fear gripped me the entire time, and the only thing that soothed it was holding her in my arms. With him it was a little easier, but unease still filled my stomach._

_ There are no more Hunger Games, the arenas have been closed down and turned into memorials for the countless lives lost in the decades of pageants. Young, joyous, innocent, they frolic through the valley, the streets, they don't know they play on a graveyard, on the bones of the hundreds buried beneath the ground. They teach about the Games in schools, lessons about the horrors that were done for so long. I dread the day that they learn their parents played a part in them, she already knows a little. _

_ Despite my concern, my reluctance, I know one day they'll learn, one day I'll tell them. I'll tell them how we survived, what we gained, everything we lost. I'll tell them about the role I played, my victories, and my failures, the consequences I still pay for. I'll tell them about the burns that pain me each day, that in bad times I can't appreciate anything because of the overwhelming fire inside of me. I'll tell them how I've dealt with it by playing a game, by remembering every good thing I've ever seen a person do, every wrong I've seen righted, every Seam mended, all as signs that hope still lives in these ashes. I'll tell them how it's gotten repetitive, and even a little tedious after over twenty years._

_ But there are much worse games to play. _

-K.M.

**THE END**


End file.
